The Long Job Search features stories and advice from women who got hired after a prolonged job search. In sharing their stories, we aim to support and inspire those navigating similar situations during their job hunt.

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I worked in restaurants while earning my degree in journalism, and as I fell out of love with journalism I fell hard for hospitality. During my first two years out of college, I spent my days working in a cubicle and three nights a week in a local wine bar waiting tables – just for fun (well, mostly – who couldn’t use a little extra cash fresh out of school?).

I transitioned full-time to hospitality in 2014 and worked in some of the best locally-owned restaurants in Dallas, which was how I found my passion for working with owners/founders.

In 2018 I transitioned slightly to food startups rather than restaurants, and in two years I was abruptly laid off due to business closure four times – once I was even promoted two days before the layoff! My longest layoff began in April 2020 due to Covid impact. I was laid off once more in 2022 before landing the role I’m in now as Chief of Staff at a mineral sunscreen company.

The long job search

During this time, in particular, I realized how much I tied my identity to my job. I became more socially anxious, dreading any interaction that might include the question, “What do you do?”. As a night owl, especially, I struggled to maintain a sensible schedule in the beginning.

Staying motivated, setting boundaries, and redefining work

I don’t remember how far into my search this happened, but it finally dawned on me to operate my day as though I did have a job – I used my calendar to block time to do different things and stopped making myself feel like I needed to only apply for jobs 8 hours a day, every day. I took a lunch break and stopped “working” at a reasonable hour, like 6pm.

I let myself enjoy a typical weekend and gave myself the space to make the work week enjoyable for myself – example: I hate Mondays so I would always slow roll my Monday. It made me feel more in control of my life and actually helped bring clarity to what an ideal work situation could look like for me, which paid off in interviews.

More than anything, my community helped. This required vulnerability from myself but much like any kind of anxiety, the more I spoke it out loud the easier it became to work through it and make sense of it. I asked folks in my circle to not ask me how my job search was going – when I had an update they would know, otherwise I didn’t want inquiry. This helped dissipate so much of my social anxiety which allowed me to more freely enjoy my social time.

Managing personal finances

In my Covid layoff, I applied for unemployment benefits. For my other layoffs, I just hustled! I had a small book of food & maker businesses I would help out however I could and make whatever I could make. It helped I had the trade experience of restaurants where I could hop on to a catering job every once in a while, or help plan/work an event. To be honest, I am relatively financially irresponsible so finances were always a major stress for me. I hustled for the sake of making sure I always had money coming in because I don’t know how to stop spending it lol.

A key lesson learned in the job search

Recognizing that applying to everything all the time wasn’t productive was huge for me. When you’re a “high-achieving personality”, you can fool yourself into thinking that if you do the most, you’ll be rewarded. I think a job search has a lot to do with quality over quantity. I also tried to get frequent feedback on my resume – from interviewers to my network, I would tweak it about every three months.

Her networking tip

Networking was huge for me. As mentioned, I sent my resume out frequently and would refresh it as an excuse to send it out again. My father-in-law gave me great advice - when asking your network for support, it’s important to be clear about what your ask is. I wouldn’t just send my resume and say “Please share”, I’d say something like:

Attached is an updated version of my resume. I am looking for a chief of staff or similar position with a startup or growth-stage company. My superpowers are process documentation and refinement, team building, project management, and planning meeting organization. If you have any leads or are available to brainstorm opportunities or my next steps, I have availability for coffee meetings or Zoom on X-day.

Mastering the art of handling rejections

First piece of advice: delete or file away rejections. Don’t let them sit in your email inbox, where you're reminded every time you open it.

Otherwise, I think it depends on the rejection. I think when you’re in the marathon of job hunting, you’re experiencing constant rejection. I don’t have a good answer for this I don’t think – rejection sucks. I think it is another space in the job hunt that requires you to find peace in taking space and not forcing yourself to power through because time is of the essence. If you’re feeling hurt from a rejection, you’re not going to be in a good headspace for an interview, so don’t schedule one same day (when you can help it).

I was also almost always coming off what felt like full failure – the business I worked for, and in a leadership role, failed. And interviewers would ask me questions aligned with this – “you have a pretty rough track record. What gives? Do you just have bad judgment?”. Oof! I had to master the art of not answering defensively but rather speaking confidently about how, while I might be a risk taker, it’s because I’m passionate for and driven by the work I do. I had to become the champion of sharing my story without sounding like a martyr, and also be able to talk about what a long-term role would look like for me given I’d barely kept a job for more than 6 months, and now had this big gap working against me, too. For me, I found the more honest and transparent I was in an interview, the more likely they were to push me to the next round.

🌟 Landing the job

I qualify my success story as landing the job I’m in now, so I’ll speak to that. I had to rely a lot on my ability to be able to get in touch with the hiring manager/recruiter because I do not look good on paper (re: 5 layoffs and consistently short tenures even before). I read the job description for the job I have now and knew it was for me. I messaged the recruiter and when I didn’t hear back for a day, I followed up with “an updated version of my resume”. I got a response, we had a phone call screen, and I later learned I got an interview with my now CEO because the recruiter insisted due to my tenacity. I think it was part stroke of luck and part tenacity – whatever it was, I remain extremely grateful and proud.

Final words of advice?

Find a cheerleader! Finding a new job can be a lonely and discouraging journey, no matter the circumstances. Find a person or persons (not including your partner) who you can meet with weekly to talk through job descriptions, CVs, resume edits, and even just to vent to. I never really had this but now I do this for others, and I keep getting the feedback that it makes a world of difference.

Bonus tip

Don’t forget your daily affirmations – my personal favorite comes from Jon Batiste: “I feel good, I feel free, I feel fine just being me. I feel good today, oh so good today!”