I sued a prominent tech company for reasons I can't say anymore. I won, but I signed an NDA. It was a really difficult and heartbreaking process. They did not hold punches and went after my mental health via my Twitter account. The company claims to support mental health and it felt a lot like gaslighting during that process.
I took a year's sabbatical to recover and I'm starting to look for new roles in tech. I have lost all my confidence. I was a software engineer with a really successful career but behind the scenes, I was really struggling with --. I can't talk about it anymore and I don't know what to do. I feel really alone since most people who have signed NDA also can't talk about it.
Lately, opening the terminal feels like running a marathon. I know what I'm doing, it's just the act of doing it that has really become a trigger. I used to love to code. It was one of my favorite feelings to see my features deployed or finally solve a hard problem. After taking a year, I feel out of touch with what's the new thing or updated coding standards. I don't know how to explain my break to interviewers and it's all contributing to my feeling like I don't belong. I have to start interviewing for financial reasons and can't hold off any longer.
If you have any advice or words of support I would really appreciate it. Thank you for reading!