The Losses We Share, Meghan The Duchess of Sussexhttps://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/25/opinion/meghan-markle-miscarriage.html
Perhaps the path to healing begins with three simple words: Are you OK?---I am asking you: Are you OK? Can we commit to start asking those questions and answer as openly as we want (without an ounce of shame, or guilt)
Thank you for calling out the importance of this question. A coworker asked me that just last week, and I remembered seeing the Slack message when I was washing dishes, thought about it, sobbed for a few minutes and returned to dishwashing like nothing happened. It took me a day to respond to process some things and I was very grateful that he had checked in and also gave me all the time and space I needed to respond (or not).More importantly, I truly appreciate women in the very public eye (such as Meghan Markle, such as Chrissy Tiegen) coming forward with their pain and struggles in their losses. I can't begin to imagine what it is like to go through and there often is not any forum to talk about pregnancy loss because the journey up to it is supposed to be so celebratory. I applaud how this article summarizes the issue:Because the truth is we do not walk out of hospitals and birthing centers in our pre-pregnancy jeans. We do not always immediately fall in love with our babies in the haze of postpartum life. Birth isnβt a romantic act dependent on a few graceful pushes. Not every pregnancy ends with a baby. Not every person who gets pregnant wants to be. Life is not a movie. Pregnant people are not a monolith. Bodies are not unblemished.
Thank you so much for sharing this Teresa! This was a fantastic piece.While I truly welcome the diversity of opinions, one thing did surprise me ... comments from people especially from women who too had suffered a miscarriage who saw this as a PR stunt more so than anything stating that "a miscarriage is something very private and should not be talked about so publicly/in the media". To me, women like Chrissy Teigen or Meghan Markle have a platform and they have a voice that they can use to bring those issues to light and most importantly to tell all the millions "anonymous" women who have suffered and perhaps even continue to suffer in silence that they are not alone. That alone is powerful.I remember when I went through my first break-up, I literally read celebrities' interviews talking about their heartbreaks and only that gave me so much strength, to realise that the vast majority of people have gone through AND have overcome it was so powerful.Obviously, a romantic breakup and the loss of a baby are not nearly the same and I'd never want to equate the two, but to know that others and sometimes the most famous people are just like me, is what brings us back all together (and pull the illusion of celebrity down). I'm eager to hear others' opinions!