“Before you say yes, I do have to mention that I’m three months pregnant.”
“In that case, no, it wouldn’t be a fit.”
“Ok, then.”
That was the day I was rejected from joining the marketing team for my birth country’s vice presidency – because I was pregnant. A job, that according to the person at the other end of the call, I was a perfect fit for.
Many women face this kind of discrimination, though it’s rarely stated so bluntly. Usually, it comes with a nod and a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. And, then with time, changes come. Suddenly you are not enough. The usual, “We are thankful you got us from A to B, but we don’t think you could get us to C.”
As I lowered my phone on the kitchen table, my husband asked me, “Why did you tell them?”
I replied, “If it’s an obstacle now I don’t want to be part of that team long-term.”
And boy, did I take it to heart.
Now, almost five years later, if you were to look at my LinkedIn Profile or CV, you wouldn’t find a maternity gap. That’s because there isn’t one. Let alone two.
I’m a mother of two, for both deliveries, I worked up until the day of both deliveries – and continued working the morning after.
Please note, this is not something I recommend. It was just something I had to do.
Why? Because maternity is such a complex upheaval of your life, you walk in unprepared and without a plan. Yes, you can make plans and strategize, but they will always fall short of foreseeing every possible curveball coming at you during these 9 months.
During my first pregnancy, I developed an odd sun allergy that kept me indoors during daylight hours for six weeks, right up to my 40th week.
In my second pregnancy, I battled hyperemesis gravidarum – pregnancy-related morning sickness – for months, surviving on a diet of ginger ale and crackers. By my fifth month, I had lost over 20 pounds.
And yet, I worked through both. How? How did I do that?
The short answer is through balance and support networks.
Support Networks
Health care is notoriously expensive and insufficient for mothers across the world. Yet, in some places, you can have a dedicated network of doctors helping you and preparing you for the arrival of your baby. The problem is always cost.
I moved from Canada to Latin America, primarily because I had access to a network of specialist doctors there. Don’t get me wrong – Canada has universal healthcare and it is definitely sufficient for the millions of mothers in Canada that choose to be here for their babies. Canada also has some of the strongest maternity laws for mothers, allowing them up to a year off work to be with their babies. Regrettably, that just wasn’t an option for me at that moment.
So I moved. What did I gain instead? In Latin America, I had monthly check-ups, blood work, and ultrasounds, and my doctor was just a WhatsApp message away, ready to see me on short notice.
When I ended up in the ER due to food poisoning, my doctor was alerted immediately. It was 10 pm. All the necessary tests were done and I received the adequate medication within three hours of arriving at the Hospital. My doctor sent someone in his stead to monitor my health and report back with updates. The total cost? $120 USD.
Before my delivery window, I contacted a pediatrician and booked an appointment. We evaluated each other to see if we were a fit. Although exceptional, he wasn’t a fit long-term. But he did participate in the delivery of our first child.
On the day my firstborn was born, she was tested for everything and received every test available in the world. Afterward, her second pediatrician would turn out to be a long-term friend. To this day, when in dire need of urgent expert advice we consult with him via telehealth.
On the day my second child was born, that same pediatrician diagnosed her with bilirubin. Through our insurance, we were able to extend our stay for a week, without a single hiccup. The total cost for both deliveries was minimal as our private insurance covered them. In LATAM, we could afford to live in a four-bedroom apartment and pay for a full-time maid, food, car, insurance, etc., with about 2,600 USD in monthly expenses.
A solid support network – whether it’s friends, family, or a small army of doctors – makes all the difference when balancing motherhood and a career.
Balance
I launched my own marketing agency when I was 21 after leaving a toxic work environment. I’ve kept that agency running for more than a decade. When I needed it most during my maternity, it gave me solace and opportunity. But what it gave me most of all was privacy – the right to keep my life choices to myself.
That is something that is now lost in most employments. In an effort for connection, at times, we pressure each other to overshare. I get it. It’s important to develop a sense of belonging and the best way to do that is to give people room to share their emotions, hopes, and aspirations.
However, the joyous announcement of “I’m a mom” is not always joyous when shared with all employers. It should be. But without a doubt, it is undeniable that judgment still permeates the workplace.
Yes, I know I could have sued that company for rejecting me because of my pregnancy. But that wasn’t a battle I wanted to fight.
By then I was a partner in two other companies – each profitable – but they did not generate enough passive income to allow me to just kick my feet up and each cherries. So, I closed a contract with a fintech influencer for $20 an hour.
What did this job do for me?
- Flexible work hours (I made my own schedule)
- Remote work (I could work from anywhere in the world, and I did)
To this day, these are two key essential components of my day-to-day work-life balance. Granted I’ve replaced OBGYN visits in Latin America with swimming lessons at the Y in Canada. But there you have it, without either: remote work or flexible schedules, I’d be hard-pressed to continue at the same rate of growth in my career.
This was my recipe for success. Over time, it paid off. I’ve started a new role as a Technical Project Manager and Sr. Prompt Engineer at TEKsystems. I’m currently stationed at Meta, where I’ll lead a team of +50 in the GenAI department.
Find your own perfect mix of support networks and balance.
And never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.
They do not walk in your shoes.
The time will come for kicking my feet up and eating cherries. But not today.
