Working from + stay at home with the baby

kseniiai·Jan 11, 2020

Posted in:Advice

Hi ladies! Hope everyone is having a good start of the year!Are there moms out there, who worked remotely or for themselves and stayed with the baby at home at the same time?I am curious how did you organize it and what was your experience. Would you be willing to share your tips and tricks? Please comment :)

sydneymulligan·Jan 13, 2020

To be honest, it is just not feasible to be a full time stay at home mom and a full time remote employee. You will be doing poorly at both jobs. I would recommend seeking full time childcare regardless if you are wfh or going into an office. Alternatively, if you are able to wfh part time and have part time childcare, while being home and caring for your child(ren) the rest of the time, that is doable.I don't want to be too soapboxy about this, but I think this false notion that you can "work from home and take care of your kid(s)" is really damaging to women in the workplace. The physical place where you are working doesn't matter and shouldn't impact your job performance or focus, and there are a lot of things that make working from home easier on motherhood (shorter daycare commutes, possible flexible schedules, etc.), but it is not a substitute for reliable childcare.

kseniiai·Jan 14, 2020

Hi Sydney! Thanks for sharing your perspective!

jgrayson·Jan 21, 2020

The only person I know that does this successfully is someone whose kids watch a LOT of TV and get bribed with candy for conference calls. I don't mean this in a negative way, just as an FYI. I fully believe this woman provides a healthy and thriving household for her children, but it lets me know that something has to suffer, and for her, it is screens and candy consumption - lol. I think it is do-able with a baby up to 6 months probably, if your job is flexible or doesn't have too many meetings or video calls, since babies are not awake for large chunks of time. That allows time for baby, then baby can sleep and you can work really efficiently during that time. I think a combo of early or late night work with lighter work during the day would help to make this more functional as well.

jgrayson·Apr 21, 2020

I want to say that I still agree with this 5 weeks into working from home with a now 5 month old baby and a 5 year old. I'm productive until about noon and then it is challenging after that. I do work in the morning before kids are up and after they go to bed. Some candy is involved, but not as bribery. More TV watching happens than I would prefer, but overall, it has been challenging but not horrendous. MY biggest complaint is that my leadership doesn't have kids and therefore doesn't realize what is really going on at home even though they think they do. If I had a 1.5 - 3.5 year old, it would be much harder because they sleep less but need more help than my 5 month old and 5 year old, respectively. What I have learned from the stay at home stuff is that this is do-able, but you really need to have flexibility in when and how you get your work done and some strategic scheduling of meetings.

celestebancos·Mar 11, 2020

I work about 10 hours a week from home with three kids under five. I could put in more hours if it was just me and my 8 month old, or if I was not the main one responsible for the “daily nurture” of laundry, cooking, etc.Hitting 40 hours a week would not be sustainable unless I had substantial childcare.My work is a really good fit for working at home while also being primarily responsible for a house full of buddies. It’s bookkeeping, so pretty simple and atomic. I can do it with only one hand and half a brain because it’s not too typing heavy and it doesn’t require sustained focus.Nowadays I do a lot of work in chunks of 10-30 minutes, but when I had a young toddler it was more like 5-15 minute intervals.

katieinfante·Aug 29, 2022

Hi @celestebancos! If I can ask, through what program are you a bookkeeper? I'd love to hear more about what you do (or at this point, did, maybe -- I know it's been a couple years, but I've gone back searching for posts about SAHMs and side hustles). I'm looking for something I could do during my son's naps, which, yes, add up to about 10 hrs per week! I'd love to hear from you.

BethanieAshton·Apr 29, 2020

I'd like to know whether SydneyMulligan has since changed her view during global lockdown?During twin pregnancy with ICP (insane itching caused by an overactive liver, affects 1% pregnancies), I: -moved out of my shared apartment (my model landlord wasn't a great fit to the situation) -moved suitcases into 3 properties (short term lets) -viewed, leased, shopped, decorated 2 rental units head to toe-maintained 2 rental units, cleaning between guests (with two stones inside my belly)-persisted with my startup (pre launch aka pre revenue generating), hired, trained interns-developed a twin-website (with a nutcase Indian firm, who then corrupted my site, which was fortunately recovered)-took phone calls from my hospital suite until 12 hours into an induced labor Once I returned from hospital a week later:-cared for newborn twins myself; shopped between nap time-washing machines outside of the unit, another pain in the neck heavy lifting exercise -14 days later, Squatters moved into my unit and never left (6 month litigation)-due to above and loss of sole income, received an eviction notice and my newborns and I became homeless in Los Angeles (thanks to the support from my church, we had a roof over our heads)-after 5 months of continued work from home, with infant twins, I decided it was best to leave for the Italian countryside due to no change in circumstance-I donated all of our non-essential items, and boarded a flight LAX to Rome with a double stroller, a trolley, handbag, diaper bag, laptop case (250 pounds of luggage) yes, solo And in the last 9 months in Italy, -create twin-content for blog channels-renovated 2 rooms in our friend's large home -worked consistently at the startup, hired, trained a team, developed an amazing platform that demonstrates our social-impact, and launched! I cook, clean and sit with my (now) toddler-twins 3 times a day for meals. I work solidly 8 hours a day, and they are of course used to observing this. I build tents, read stories, dance, tickle, console, bathe. They have each other to amuse, which is a blessing. Work from home is possible. Vegan pregnancy is possible. Parenting solo is possible. Being made victim and homeless and overcoming, is possible. International flights with baby(ies), solo is possible. I say without any hesitation (though with the memories of angst frustration at certain moments through it, pleading on the floor for Christ's mercy), that All Things Are Possible. The question really should be, 'What might I miss out on while working from home with a newborn'? For a straight answer, Kseniiai:-use Google Hangouts / Zoom with video enabled as often as possible (for human connection)-use an Alarm on your devices to notify you of meetings -create a process for yourself while baby is small, which becomes routine when they begin walking and understand it inherently -if you have a home office, please use it: don't have baby exposed to your working, LCD screens or modems (while the girls have seen me plugging away at my MAC all of their lives, they know not to touch or look at it; nor do they see me using the phone, only for photos)-make time for yourself! Run an epsom salt bath each week.. so good on overused muscles (you don't realize until you immerse!) You can do it, Kseniiai! I'm here to support with any questions <3