If you grew up like me you heard a lot of messages about being humble and not bragging and supporting others. There's nothing wrong with any of it, of course – except that, in turn, it leads many of us to not taking pride in things we have actually done and accomplished. And that's a pity because building this pride in ourselves, in our accomplishments, in showing up helps us create greater confidence.
Today, I want to share how I got to the point where I can easily say, I did a great job. And these days I can even say it also with others in the room. And you can learn to do it too!
This is how I started: I have this beautiful glass jar which was unused for a long time, and one day, I had the idea to turn it into a compliment jar – for compliments to myself. It's right on my sideboard in my office, and most days when I'm done working, I write myself a little note about something I feel I did well that day.
It can be pretty much anything. Often it's little things like, Well done, taking the dog for three walks despite the fact that it's raining. Or things I have a hard time acknowledging as an achievement like, Yay for taking a mental health day.
I strongly believe that we always do the best we can on any given day. And even if that's not very much on a certain day, it's still a reason to celebrate. Tomorrow, we may be able to do more, and then we'll do that.
Of course, you don’t need a jar to do this. For you it may be a journal, a file on your computer, or maybe an online tool. Anything works – as long as you make it a practice.
Because the moment you start complimenting yourself, just in your private space first, it will become easier to do it with others in the room too, and show up confidently. First among people you are comfortable with, then just about anybody!
I'm curious: Do you have a hard time talking about your accomplishments? Or how have you overcome this struggle?