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Thoughts on coworkers sharing rooms while traveling for business?

Posted in:Advice

I will soon be going on a weeklong international work trip, which I am very much looking forward to. However, we just found out that we will be sharing rooms with coworkers for the entirety of the trip (which involves 2 separate lodgings in different cities). I am a pretty adaptable person (and like to think I am very easy to share a space with!), but as an introvert, the idea of having little to no privacy from coworkers for this length of time is a bit unsettling to me. At my last company, we were always assigned single rooms, so this level of intimacy with colleagues is not something I am used to.

I have thought about asking to split the difference between a private and double room, but I am not sure this will even be possible because the arrangements have already been made. I also don't want to seem difficult by requesting this type of accommodation.

Is this something others have dealt with, and if so, what are your thoughts? How have you approached?

DrKate·Sep 18

First of all, it is totally valid to not want to share a bedroom with someone. That is what this is. Your sacred, quiet space will have a non-family member in it. Even extroverts want some time to themselves! Secondly, expressing your feelings and/or asking questions is always a possibility regardless of if the logistics have been finalized or not. If they say, "everyone is doubling up, even the CEO, so there is no extra space" you could ask that if there happens to be a larger room for your duo, you would certainly appreciate it. If they say, "this is an important part of your experience and you will be placed with a different roommate at the other location" you can ask if there will be any time set aside for journaling or reflection (when maybe you can take a walk in nature).Thirdy, yes, I have encountered this situation. Once I called the site and explained my desire for "a bit more space" as I would be sleeping with a stranger. The hotel put us in a bedroom/ livingroom suite where I was able to take the couch and she could close the door in between us. Another time I was blindsided, having paid for a private bath and private room and instead was put in a shared bath situation with a shared room! Truth be told, I had a meltdown and even offered to commute from another hotel. The spa retreat was totally full, but they took pity on me and figured something out. Finally, after speaking your feelings/ request for a place (or time) for rejuvenation, know that this will be a growing time for you. Notice your emotions. Breathe 6 in, 6 hold, 6 out. You may find that you can allow the swirl to continue around you while your self is calm.

Katherine44·Sep 19

Thank you for this insight! I think that companies like mine take advantage of the fact that we are mostly young people, so they assume we don't care as much about sharing space this way. I'm in my late 20s, but I think I am still too old for this type of arrangement!I am going to start by asking what type of room it is, as this was not disclosed to us. I've seen horror stories on the Internet where coworkers were expected to share a bed during a business trip. That's the last thing I want to be surprised by! Barring that possibility, I think I'll just stay out of the room as much as possible and use it only for sleeping and showering. I do also know a lot of people in the city I'm traveling to, so I'll try to make evening plans with them so that I can still have some personal time away from coworkers.

Nicolle20·Sep 18

This is totally inappropriate. I’m extremely social but would not feel comfortable changing, showering etc. in front of coworkers. It’s concerning that the company would put people in this positon.

Katherine44·Sep 19

I agree that it's inappropriate, even in a startup environment and with coworkers whose company I enjoy. Definitely a big red flag as we are essentially being told that our privacy/comfort is not that important to them. I appreciate them wanting to bring us on this trip but I tend to be of the mind that if you can't afford to give everyone their own space, you can't afford the trip.

Nicolle20·Sep 19

I 100% agree with this. It seems to indicate a lack of boundaries/psychological safety and you are not wrong for feeling this way. I recognize that costs saving is a factor as @iynna says, and I think all companies are implementing cost saving measures with respect to travel in this economy, but there are other ways to save that don't involve invasions of privacy. I work for a small startup that usually does 2 trips per year - this year we are only doing one and will likely do a trip to our HQ city next year so we are only bringing in people who don't live here because we don't want to cut costs in ways that would impact employee experience such as long layovers or shared rooms.

Iynna·Sep 19

Cost saving perhaps...

Ursula35·Sep 19

100%!

tiffanyant·Sep 19

Upfront cost savings versus a potential lawsuit is not worth the coins saved. This was a practice I know was more common 15 years ago, but today...I can't believe orgs still employ it.

Katherine44·Sep 19

Yes, it definitely seems odd. I've done a bit of research and it does seem more normalized in certain industries. I will say that I work for a fairly small startup, and I suspect that folks at similar companies have experienced room-sharing with coworkers as well. That said, it would have at least been nice to have had the opportunity to say whether or not we were comfortable with this in an anonymous way, especially since this is a weeklong trip as opposed to a night or 2. The lack of advance notice makes me think they expected pushback and didn't want to deal with it. I am lucky in that I have no sensitive medical condition that I do not wish to disclose, and to my knowledge I don't snore haha. That said I am a pretty private person, so having this level of closeness with someone who is not a longtime friend or my boyfriend is honestly stressful.I am going to try to be optimistic about it so as not to rock the boat (I am also lucky to have very kind and considerate coworkers), but I fear that if anything goes sideways, I'll be super resentful of the company and start looking for other jobs. And that'll cost them several thousand to replace me! From a business standpoint it really doesn't make much sense and you'd think the higher-ups would have more foresight than this. All for a couple hundred dollars lol.

Bailey19·Sep 19

FWIW, I'm an attorney who has spent my entire in house career at small startups and my first thought was exactly what @tiffanyant said! Both places I've worked had people who regularly traveled internationally and domestically for business and we never did this, and my current company is pretty stingy lol. If cost was an issue, sometimes they would get an Airbnb, but they ALWAYS checked with people to make sure they were okay with it/give them the opportunity to request a roommate. Startups tend to take the "it hasn't happened yet/it would never happen to us" attitude when it comes to risk and lawsuits but this is appalling. OP - if I were in this position, it would be enough to lead me to look for a new job. Nobody would blame you for resenting the company, this is unacceptable IMO.

denalawless·Sep 19

This happened to me in the 90s when I was 22 and I ended up having a great time with my 44yo roommate - but it made the entire training exhausting because I never got a real break. Today the answer is NO for the obvious reasons that HR should be aware of. Everyone needs downtime and privacy. I would let them know that while you appreciate cost savings in a company, your privacy and respite is a top priority for this travel time, and that you are willing to look into other solutions for your safety, privacy, and comfort.One more thought: if this company cannot afford private rooms (or at least suites with separation) for their employees, they should not be booking this trip.