This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

Should I stay or should I go?

Yan19·Mar 30, 2021

Posted in:Advice Early Career Health & Wellness Personal Growth

Hello,As a lost and confused soul I have taken to the internet to ask for some feedback. Let me start by saying that my dream is to travel the world and visit a long list of walkable cities. I've been very interested in walkable cities and how urban cities contribute to our happiness.I'm currently at a health tech start up where I am immensely burnt out as a Product Manager. This was my first job out of school where I started in CS and moved into Product. I've been at the company for about 2.5 years and 1.5 of those as a Product Manager. I am the only PM in our company of about 40 people now. I'm burnt out due to the following:- no mentorship- lack of strategy- lack of leadership transparency - loss of motivation due to ongoing changes - I don't understand the company's why- I don't feel good about the work i'm producingI've been looking for jobs and because my experience is quite Jr., I've managed to land one Product Owner job at a medium sized marketplace company which I believe will offer me mentorship. They want me to start immediately. I don't love the industry it's in, but at least it's a step outside of my company. I'm worried that if I turn it away, I won't have a job offer coming to me anytime soon. I want to work there because:- new opportunity- medium sized company that has some processes in place- a clear vision statement - clear leadership and transparency from stakeholdersMy current company offered me to take a leave of absence and in that time they will try to fix the problems I brought up. I have thought about it and think that it could be advantageous for me to make use of that time to take a break and just think of my goals and figure out what I need to do without the stress of not having a job. I realize as I type this all out that I have worries of financial instability, not achieving my dreams, and wanting to learn more. My question is.. what would you do? 1. Stay at current company, take the hiatus but be comforted by the fact that a job is in place? (I will probably still quit) 2. Leave current company, jump into the next company?3. Quit current company and just keep applying til I find a job that I'm really excited for?

teresaman·Mar 30, 2021

@candacewu tagging Candace in case she has any thoughts to share!As for your current crossroads, I would be mindful of jumping into something right away just because it's available. With no break in between, your burnout isn't addresses and it may be amplified as you're trying to be onboarded into a brand new role and company.The hiatus to me seems like it could be a good temporary solution as it serves as a space for you to rest and recuperate from years of working, but also to use that time to re-evaluate and see if there other in fact other companies that may provide an environment that's more suited for you. Additionally, I think it's important to note that your current company has a lot to change, and if for any reason you feel that it's still not the right place for you after the leave, you are always empowered to make that decision then as well!

Yan19·Apr 05, 2021

Thank you for your kind words and advice, Teresa. I really appreciate that. I have to remember to feel empowered to take a break and do what is best for me.

teresaman·Apr 06, 2021

Absolutely! Good luck with everything 🤗

KashaH·Mar 31, 2021

I agree with Teresaman's post, too. I am coming from the same situation as you in a way, and I jumped at the first job offer I received because I thought it was going to be the only one and ignoring signs that I wasn't stoked about the work. If you are already experiencing burnout, you will likely find it hard to really engage in the new opportunity in a meaningful way, especially if it's not in a dream industry/company where you're feeling motivated.I would say you owe it to yourself to give your brain a bit of breathing room. If you are able to sequence #1 and #3, I would probably do that. Take some time out but before you go, make a clear and metrics-based list of what needs to change. If when you come back, you feel like they have met some of those metrics, that's great. If you come back and they haven't, you can feel better about taking option 3 and just cutting loose. If you can go to #3 right away and have the means to support yourself in that, I would advocate for that. I think your mind works differently when you don't have a safety net, and in my experience it's way more 'productive' to have that blue sky, anything is possible moment without a job lined up, than going back to a job you're not happy with and trying to make it work after some time off. Good luck!

Adriene15·Apr 05, 2021

Thank you so much Kasha! I'm curious what you ended up doing when you jumped into your first job offer. Did you stay at it or did you look for something else? I appreciate your advice. I think after writing this out I realized I just really need some breathing room just to have some time to reflect on my own life. Thanks again :)

Ingeborg96·Apr 05, 2021

Hi Adriene! I stayed for a few weeks, but continued to look for work elsewhere as it wasn't the right fit (the culture ended up being quite toxic, and I was shocked to see colleagues crying on the job in the first few weeks). I ended up leaving because of the toxic culture and launched right into a new job search without giving myself a time out. I was working with a mentor who was really pushing me to stay in the job hunt game, and even though my intuition was telling me to take a time out, I trusted the advice and kept pushing myself. I allowed myself to take three days a week totally off (Wednesdays and weekends) and focused on the job hunt the other days with some built-in accountability mechanisms. On my glorious off days, I read in bed, did yoga, went for walks and lay on the couch with a newspaper with zero guilt (it was winter and we're in a complete pandemic-related lock down here). I invested in therapy, too. I did land at a dream job after three months and in many ways it's the responsible decision for me, but it has been hard to get to a place of enthusiasm and some days I've really needed to force myself to open my laptop every morning. There are things about the work that I'm thrilled about, don't get me wrong. At the same time, I know I would be bringing a different level of energy if I had really taken the time to down-shift and completely allow myself to rest, restore and explore and felt strongly enough about that, that I wanted to encourage you to do the same!

ccmarasco·Mar 31, 2021

You should feel confident in the fact that you DO know what you want! You listed 6 factors that this not-so-great job has allowed you to realize that you care about. This is incredibly valuable. I noticed that 'no mentorship' is on the top of your list, which could be arbitrary or not. That is one piece you could look for outside your company. Maybe you can even find someone in this community who has career experience you'd like to learn from. I'm wondering if there's a way for you to take the hiatus, see if they change things, then if not, consider the other position. This would mean the new job would need to have some flexibility around start date. I don't know how long the hiatus would be, but would the new job allow you to start (hiatus time) + (a few weeks) to see if changes are made?The other question I have is, if your current job fixes all of the issues, would you still want to be there? Do you like the humans there? Do you at least have fun occasionally? Do you have passion for the products the company makes/what they're trying to do? Try to think about how you felt before the burnout set in, if possible.I'd also suggest asking some questions like that around the new job. And also ask, does this new job/role get you pumped about work again and life in general? If not, it might not be worth it.The biggest thing is to remember that there is no 'one right path'. There is no wrong choice here. There are great things to learn from unideal situations, but while you are going through one, try to find other things in life that are fun, uplifting, and enjoyable to you to support you through that time.