How to re-gain my manager's trust

I have been in my current role for almost a year (director of marketing). Things were going well and I got good feedback. Then I made a few mistakes - nothing customer facing or revenue impacting. But I did not take ownership of a project and drive it to completion as much as my manager expected, and I misunderstood an ask related to a strategy presentation. I feel like now she is annoyed with me and I am anxious about every interaction I have with her. I was not sleeping well, and ended up getting really sick bc of the anxiety (I have ulcerative colitis and this put me into a flare).

I have tried being proactive, acknowledging that I didn't meet expectations, and have been working extra long hours to get things done and sharing my progress with her. But I am worried that I am going to be fired. I really want to turn things around. There are so many great things about the company and the team. But I'm nervous if I'm totally upfront and vulnerable and ask her if she believes in my ability to turn things around that she will say no, then I'll end up out of a job.

So, any advice how to prove to her that I can do my job and I deserve to be in the role? Or should I give up and look elsewhere? Thank you.

hummus's profile thumbnail
Your health should come first. You shouldn’t have to suffer from this kind of anxiety. What can you do in this situation? The options that initially come to my mind are 1. Be direct and confront her - figure out exactly where you stand. It is interesting that it sounds like she hasn’t really been upfront and direct with you either…is that unusual behavior from her to be passive and not direct? 2. Maybe can you switch teams/managers if you like the company and have other connections there? Though director of marketing sounds like an upper level role so maybe not able to move around within? 3. Look for new roles and find a new opportunity…?It may be easier said than done, but having tough conversations is often necessary to move forward…if you just wait for the situation to fix itself, who knows how long that could even take? You deserve an environment without this kind of stress and anxiety! Your health is a priority! If it were me, I would probably do a combination of the above options…look for something new, leverage you connections and network for other opportunities, and try to have a direct conversation to see where you stand. If she is not upfront or direct with you, then I would definitely look for something new because it is not fair to you to be ‘walking on eggshells’ with no end in sight. I hope you are able to resolve this and perhaps find a better role if this one is not right!
iynna's profile thumbnail
So sorry you are going through this! No don't look elsewhere because most likely she is not trying to fire you and you're overthinking it (it's pretty common) You've already acknowledged you did not take ownership and your mistakes were the result of some misunderstanding so that part has been cleared out with her (I assume?) I am not sure whether it is overkill at this point but I think you should probably have a conversation with your manager stating the things you want to improve as a result of these two "incidents". But also in the long run, it sounds like there's a little bit of personal challenges you might need to look into and try resolve because getting so much anxiety out of this is not healthy either :(