Discouraged and Unhappy

I just need a space to vent for a minute. I am unhappy with my current job and the job hunt has been exhausting. I'm at my wits end as it's negatively impacting my emotional and mental heatlh. I was already overqualified for this role when I started in January 2019, however I needed a FT job so I was willing to accept almost anything to survive. It wasn't so bad at first, but then I realized there was no real leadership or growth opportunities. I began looking for jobs November 2019.
The pandemic began and we started working from home. Which I really enjoyed and not suprisingly so as I completed my M.S. online at Drexel University. I utilized the extra time to explore graphic design as it's something I found myself doing in most of my roles any way. July 2019 my entire department was "reclassified" which came with title changes and pay cuts. On top of that, I am displeased with how the organization (school system) handled the pandemic. It's been down hill ever since.
We've all been asked to do extra work outside the scope of our titles. No support. People have left the department. We all wonder if they're trying to get rid of the department altogether. It's so stressful. I do my best to remain present and keep up my job search, but it can be really diffcult some days as there is literally ALWAYS something terrible happening at the job. The latest is my coworker losing 8 vacation days b/c she's not allowed to carry over more than 24. HR did not make her aware of this rule and there's no way she would know this was one of the changes that came with her title change as no official documentation explaining ANYTHING was given to her (or any of us).
I'm exhausted and I don't like how I feel most days. I want to quit, but I know that's not the best thing to do. I'll finally be moving into my own apartment (the layoff in 2017 really set me back) and I feel stuck. I know I won't be here for ever, but as the title said I am discouraged.
claires's profile thumbnail
This is a lot. Sending you hugs. Also, your intuition seems strong. What would it look like to trust it?
ChavonBlount's profile thumbnail
Thank you! *sighs* I'm going to continue to think about what my intuition would look like if I trust it. It keeps telling me to leave, but I'm afraid of the possible financial consequences.
tionnawilsonpierce's profile thumbnail
Chavon, deep breaths, you are not alone. It's okay to feel discouraged, we all have our moments of doubt but this sounds like it may be the time that you need to truly take care of yourself. Burnout is real and the pandemic can be a blessing in disguise. I believe it has created a space for some of us to REALLY slow down. It is allowing some of us to think twice about our old ways of doing things and releasing this urge to "keep going". The way I see it is that sometimes you have to take a couple of steps back before you can actually move forward. And resting alone in your new apartment I believe will give you the time and space to do just that. I hope this helps and I'm virtually supporting you! ❤️
ChavonBlount's profile thumbnail
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I'm working on taking things moment by moment. I need to slow my mind down so my body can get in formation and relax as well.
Diana23's profile thumbnail
Job hunting is very exhausting and can feel very discouraging! Keep on going and hang in there. The right opportunity will come at its right time! Sending you positive vibes!
ChavonBlount's profile thumbnail
Thank you!!!