Potential Mentor Ghosting

oaladeselu·Dec 13, 2022

Posted in:Advice

I'm currently transitioning career fields and looking to connect with a mentor or sponsor. I connected with a mentor on a site specifically catered to mentorship in my new field and have been trying to connect with this mentor after they confirmed they are available & interested in speaking. I've responded to the last email they sent asking for my timezone and followed up subsequently., unfortunately, I'm getting the feeling I may be "ghosted" as they have yet to confirm our meeting for tomorrow. However, I would like to follow up one final time in a few days.

Any advice on

if this is a relationship I should continue to pursue? if so
how do I send a final follow-up that also keeps the opportunity open?

TIA

teresaman·Dec 14, 2022

I've found the end of year to be quite difficult to schedule meetings, with limited availability due to out of offices and end of year wrap up and planning. With that in mind, I would definitely try once more to confirm a meeting time, and perhaps offer the possibility to connect again in the new year if you don't hear back, so they can expect a message from you in the new year!

oaladeselu·Dec 14, 2022

Thank you, I'll definitely keep that in mind and try reaching out again.

Filomena21·Dec 14, 2022

Maybe this is my own failing, but I wouldn't start calling someone a "mentor" until there was a stronger relationship established. I think you should lower your expectations for this specific person (even if it's just in your head) and think of this as generic networking until you do find a person you really click with.It's a numbers game. Yes, you are looking for quality over quantity. But you don't know yet if this person will be helpful, even if you do end up getting them on your calendar. If you can afford it, spring for services like Outreach or Skylead where you can automate follow-up emails so it will feel less hurtful if someone is blowing you off. Plus then you can focus on increasing the number of people you reach out to instead of focusing on the scheduling with people who might not follow through.

oaladeselu·Dec 14, 2022

You're absolutely right, thank you.

DianePrince·Dec 14, 2022

This is not a self-promotional reply, because I am a coach, but from my experience there is a bit difference on an agreed-upon commitment when there's an exchange of money. Obviously, when people volunteer, you'd want them to honor their commitments. When I act as a volunteer mentor, which I do through 2 organizations, it's important to me to meet my obligations, but not everyone feels the same. That said, this is my template for people who book consultation calls with me and don't show up that you could edit to your situation - "I'm so sorry we weren't able to connect. Please check my calendar to find a time that works better for you so we can talk soon!"I give one more chance because things do come up, then I move on. However, in your case, this person is giving their time for free so I'd say something like "I'm so sorry we haven't been able to connect. Do you have a calendar link so I can find a time that works well for you so we can talk soon?"

oaladeselu·Dec 15, 2022

Thanks! I'm saving this verbiage now.

jessicap·Dec 14, 2022

I second this - as a coach myself with 1 full time corporate job as well (not to mention family, I have no kids, but I do have local extended family, hobbies, exercise, blah blah blah) there is another level of adherence to something when there is a financial relationship.Not making excuses for the behavior, but I agree with the above statement ^^It is 2 weeks before the holidays, people travel, kids are sick, companies are scrambling to plan during a recession... sometimes people can flake and be well intentioned!communication is key!

Tamela9·Dec 15, 2022

1st message, write what you want, but add "Have a good holiday break, I look forward to speaking with you in the new year, excited to talk about [whatever mentioned in the initial email]."2nd email if they don't respond.: "Feel free to reach back out when you have the time to connect!" Then don't follow up. If they want to, they will.

oaladeselu·Dec 16, 2022

Thank you!

Iynna·Dec 17, 2022

I totally agree with Teresa that this time of the year is really hard to do extra work so I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and trust that they signed up to be a mentor for a reason! How about following up in the new year and hope for a better outcome? If you get ghosted again after like 2 tries, I'd move on!