I just took my first tech job in the midst of all the tech layoffs. While I feel grateful for the role and enjoy my direct team immensely (the most diverse team in the company), the rest of the company is comprised of white, cis men. And these men are bro-y.
As a woman, as a queer - I just do not know how to interact with bro-y men. My social life lacks cis men, I don't tend to date them and I've only worked with a handful of men temporarily over my professional life. It's a culture shock for sure.
During a team dinner, an executive only made eye contact with the three other men at the table and didn't look at me much at all, even when I asked him questions. He spoke about sports for 80% of the three hour evening, even though I made it very clear very early on (through humor) that I am not a fan of watching sports. When he asked me what I do at the company, his eyes glazed over and he said he was surprised to know I worked at the company, that he'd maybe heard my name mentioned once or twice before.
I'm embarassed to say, at one point during the evening, I had the thought, "What can I do to make this executive take me seriously and give me equal eye contact?" Then I reminded myself that I am not interested in competing for attention. I do not define my value by what I do for work.
But still, his treatment of me stung. And I don't know the first thing about navigating bro-culture. Anyone have tips for navigating this new world and how to hold onto my sense of self in the process?