This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

How to navigate unemployment blues

Helga26·Feb 19, 2023

Posted in:Favors Health & Wellness Vents Career Growth

Hi everyone!

i had to leave my former position after a family emergency and I'm now job hunting again yet starting to lose a little hope.

any tips for how to stay positive? I've done resume reviews, networking, and had some interviews as practice. I feel horrible that my husband is overworking for our bills to be paid while I struggle to even find remote gigs.

#ask: anything that helps!

#give: I am open to joining communities or offering virtual operations/marketing/sales support (I owned a solo business for 5 years)

Iynna·Feb 20, 2023

I am sending you a BIG virtual hug! I know how hard and lonely this can be however I will tell you there's always a light at the end of the tunnel!In the meantime as you go through the motion, I find it super important to do the things that bring you joy even in the short term. As the feeling of guilt, I can only imagine especially if you are someone who has been used to being super independent, but remember that you're in a partnership and should he ever be in this situation you probably would do the same. Also don't be hard on yourself, the market is super tough right now and is in any way a reflection of you or your skills! I'd recommend continuing being consistent in your search, have the convos with people in roles you are interested in, and frankly being out there. You got this!

Ruthie89·Feb 20, 2023

Are you open to freelance work, to a part-time job, or a side gig? Something that occupies your time but won’t tie you down permanently might be a good solution. Even if you have never worked retail or food service, it’s a good customer relations experience. A friend made $27 an hour during a lull as a census taker.

Helga26·Feb 21, 2023

I am open to freelance! I don't have a portfolio but I do have experience with sales, customer support, training, and social media marketing.

ekuacant·Feb 20, 2023

I agree with iynna, that you are in a partnership and that you would do the same for your Husband. If you haven't ready told your Husband that you appreciate him holding the fort, then you could communicate this or you could show you care by taking something off him to lighten his load if that's applicable. I think that doing something every day that helps you to be positive, such as talking a walk, meditation, listening up-lifting music can help. Investing some time your mental health and energy will help. Job hunting is an emotional rollercoaster. So taking the time to feel how you feel and move on can keep you feeling more positive. You may find this article helpful:How to manage the emotional emotional rollercoaster of Job Search, HBRhttps://hbr.org/2019/10/how-to-manage-the-emotional-roller-coaster-of-a-job-searchI'm not sure if Runner is a community that fits. Here's the link: https://www.hirerunner.co/Keep up the good work! You'll get there. You've got this 100%.

Leilani213·Feb 20, 2023

Really recommend the book Never Search Alone by Phyl Terry - I found the process helpful, and finding a council of fellow jobseekers really helped me keep perspective and not feel so isolated!I'm 100% sure you'd do the same for your husband so while it's ok to make sure he knows you appreciate it, don't punish yourself about it, it's part of being in a partnership ❤️

rkwalton·Feb 20, 2023

Sorry that you're going through this, but I would also nudge you to realize that you're lucky to have a partner who can help while this is happening. I didn't have that and that adds an extra layer of terror to looking. Thankfully, I had friends who were able to help me when things got really bad. I'm back on my feet now and am in a well-paying role doing the work that I love where I have the potential to grow. Count your blessings: having a partner is something some of us don't have.During all of that, I had a therapist. I still have that therapist. In fact, I have an appointment with her today. 🙂 If you have the means, find a therapist. If you don't, find a support group. A friend and former colleague of mine is associated with Pace, https://pace.group/ He shared it with me a few weeks ago for people who might need it. Context: he and I worked for a startup that had a reduction in force late last year. We were both long gone from that startup, but when your former colleagues are impacted by something like that, it radiates out and affects you too.When looked for full-time roles, I was flexible. The role I had before my current role started as a contract role. I knocked it out of the park and literally came in with social cred because I had specialized knowledge of a social platform that no one else in the org had. I also had other skills that came together to make me someone they wanted on their team. I got a full-time offer and took it. I was interviewing with other companies too. One was looking really good, so I was already preparing to leave. I got a pleasant surprise and was able to stay on that team.You've also worked for yourself. I think the freelancing or contract work play until the right full-time opportunity comes up is your best strategy. It's a lot. I know because I've done it. Hang in there. Build your support system including Elpha. Be nice to yourself. It's easy to freak out, but there are a ton of orgs that are hiring. Those former colleagues that I mentioned? I send them an email once a week with job openings and other resources, which I hope helps keep their spirits up. Tons of places are looking. Keep going and good luck!

ElenaNL·Feb 20, 2023

Big hug to you. Never underestimate the power of exercise, walks, hikes, a good diet and sleep plus quality social time. These are the basics, so important.

Helga26·Feb 21, 2023

Thank you all for the comments! I have been hyper independent my entire life (I blame it on being the trophy child with an entrepreneurial dad). Receiving support usually comes with guilt but it’s unfair of me to carry a burden that others *want* to share. I’ve been doing doordash for now but with wear & tear remote gigs seem more practical. @rkwalton thank you for mentioning pace group! I signed up but chickened out on actually attending a session- I will definitely push past the fear on this one! I’m not exactly sure what responses I was expecting, but each comment brought a new perspective. Now I can use my time to read, show gratitude, and take part in a hobby. My dogs could use a break from my smothering cuddles ❤️

rkwalton·Feb 21, 2023

Same re being hyper-independent. I'm an only child. It sort of goes with the territory. You need people too. In every job I've ever had that mattered, I had someone refer me or be an advocate for me.I'll also gladly connect you to my friend at Pace if that would be helpful or refer you to my therapist. I found and started with her because of awful work stress. Granted, I talk to her about other stuff now, but she's great and specializes in women in tech. Happy to help. Just let me know.

Helga26·Feb 22, 2023

@rkwalton I attended my first pop-up session today and it was amazing! I have a local therapist who works with me bi-weekly but I appreciate all your help!

KathyF·Feb 21, 2023

Hi Helga - I feel your pain. I've been out of work for several months now. My positivity, hope, self-esteem, and will to keep going have all taken a huge hit in the last few months. To make matters worse, I'm in tech, and the industry has been laying off people in the tens of thousands, and my heart goes out to every one of them. I don't have much to add to the other responses, but I can tell you what I've learned is vital to staying functional.1. Be with people you love and who support you as much as you can. This is vital, and for me it's easier to do than exercise or meditate. It's not a "should." There's nothing wrong with those other things. They're important too, but sometimes you can only tolerate one thing on your to do list.2. Be sure to listen to yourself (not that cruel, wrong voice, but your true heart). Hear those whispers. Act on them. It's the weirdest thing - sometimes they lead you to progress.3. Know you have a support group of about a million other people who are in the same boat. We are all here for each other. It's incredible how generous and welcoming the community is - here, on LinkedIn, and lots of other places. If you'd like, reach out to me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleenfava. We can have a private conversation and I'll try to help.

LixaMarieAnderson·Feb 21, 2023

I know this seems obvious, but when I left my last job, I didn't think to call my creditors to state our finances changed to one income, I waited 5 months to do it. Most will reduce your rate and the lower payments really help out. We also cut cable to just the intranet (we typically only watch Netflix/Prime/Apple TV anyways) and that helped. We started watching our spending more, and honestly I feel like we weren't being good stewards of our money, after doing this exercise. Financial matters can strain relationships so just lifting this weight from the household will bring some happiness....as you keep looking!

trenee·Feb 21, 2023

Sending you some love and hugs! Your sacrifices and prioritizing family illuminate your heart and how great of a person you are. Please remember, the blues are temporary, and the rejections do not define you.As for tips, journaling, and staying connected with people; also, it's okay to slow down some days (1 off day will turn into a week and then a month). So, whatever you do, just keep going and do not stop or take time off. For me, I stick to a schedule and set daily goals i.e. Apply to x number of jobs. Respond to recruiter emails, refine my resume during evenings, etc. If possible, try to keep yourself occupied and productive 4 to 6 hours a day. It will ease your transition when you get a job as well.I hope this helps!