I work at a startup and we're a lean team. Last year I was given a team to manage. My male peers were clearly uncomfortable and one of them has at many times asked me to talk to the founders and get the team reporting to him beca I'm not agg enough. I believe in treating the team like the adults that they are and he operates using fear and insecurity to get them delivering. The thing is, we were a flat structure reporting to one of the founders before they brought another layer (me) for the team to report to. Until the reorganisation they had multiple seniors giving them work (said male peer, me, the founders). So even the people reporting to me seem to have an issue taking instructions from me. However, if these instructions come from the said male peer, they take it willingly.
I feel like workplaces are about the people and it is not just my job as a manager to maintain a good environment for my reports, they should observe workplace etiquette and not make my job harder than it needs to be. I have 1:1s with them, and they agree to do better but after that it's like those 1:1s never happened.
The founders are weirdly non confrontational and don't discourage problematic behavior from the team (I have a male peer who constantly bypasses my reviews and blatantly refuses to). I feel like this further emboldens my team to trivialise me. My boss says I'm "complaining" and wants solutions. Which I have offered - asking him to back me up and reiterate the order of command and processes to the team. I really think I should quit.