This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

Dealing with a creepy client

Germaine194·Jul 27, 2020

I would love some advice on a client that I've been dealing with and how best to deal with him. I own an independent consulting business that provides product design and app development services.One of my clients has been making comments that are starting to make me feel really uncomfortable things like:"do you have a boyfriend?""you're so cute""are you seeing anyone?"and this Saturday he texted me at 10:00 pm asking if he could "come see me" which I find extremely inappropriate. I haven't done a great job of shutting him down previously, but he continues to cross the line.To make matters worse, he's delinquent on his payments for the project (i started working with this guy when i was just starting my business so I didn't have all the contracts and protections that I've incorporated into the business now). Though I would like to be paid for the work I did, I don't want to engage with him anymore.How would you respond?I was thinking of something like "I'm not available for in person meetings and I found your 10:00 pm text on Saturday extremely inappropriate. You can pay the remainder of the invoice online"

sarahjay·Jul 27, 2020

Hi there,I've had that line crossed many times and it takes time to develop the firm boundaries especially at the start of a business when you're just happy to get the work. Ignore his 10pm text and reply to him Monday morning, saying Mr (male coworker) will be taking over your account. At last resort, if he continues to ask about a boyfriend, I usually lie and say I have one!

keriannsabatini·Jul 27, 2020

Send an independent collections agency if he continues to be delayed. Cut him off as a client. Post his name for others to see so they know to beware (inform yourself of local laws beforehand to avoid lawsuits when you’re just trying to protect others—the goal is not to ruin his life).

Rebecca·Jul 27, 2020

I am sorry you’re having to deal with this. You should point blank tell him his comments make you uncomfortable. And give examples. Present the problem (sexist remarks and texts that make you uncomfortable), state the facts (save the texts, note time/date/situation of any spoken remarks), say ‘perhaps this is not your intent but you are coming across as inappropriate’ and then present what you’d like done: for him to stop.I would bring up payment as a separate matter and withhold engagement or further services until that is resolved.

MandyVarley·Jul 27, 2020

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this - it is yucky, annoying and unfair. You've got a lot of great advice here and I agree with everything that's been shared, especially that the non-payment and the personal questions are separate issues. What I'd like to share is setting these sorts of boundaries takes practice and some thinking about what you want your desired outcome to be. You can set more firm and hard boundaries in terms of referring the client to a colleague or giving him feedback on his behavior. Another more middle approach I have used is to redirect the conversation when people ask me questions I don't want to answer. For example, "Do you have a boyfriend?" "That's quite personal and I know we have a limited time to work on this project so how about we focus on XXX..." or "You're so cute" "Thank you for the compliment, but that's not really relevant to what we're here to discuss. Why don't we focus on XX..." The suggestion of waiting to respond to any of his communication within normal business hours and noting that you are not available for in person meetings makes a lot of sense and should also reinforce these other message. Good luck!

jennyli91·Jul 29, 2020

I'm so sorry you have to go through this! This is not right and not acceptable! I hope you're ok. I would suggest the following - Be firm, stand your ground and let him know that this is not acceptable and makes you feel uncomfortable. - Be assertive and say that you would appreciate to maintain a professional working environment - Initiate some sort of payment plan (making him pay instantly) and address a date that the payment must be paid by.- Lose this business relationship and cut ties with him. It doesn't seem to be worth the emotional and unprofessional stress I've had to deal with tardiness (for payments from my side hustle) a few times and I've only ever been direct. I got to a stage where I sent a Paypal invoice so it initiated him to pay right on the spot with his credit card. I was very assertive about this as he lead me on for a whole year. Let me know if you want to chat more about this! Happy to send an example of what I did.