The internet is full of beautiful inspirational quotes about empowerment and resilience after a setback.

One of my favourites is Paulo Coelho’s: "The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times."

But sometimes you need more than a motivational quote or a poster.

Dealing with a job loss is a tough reality that I’ve faced a few times. I want to share the strategies that have helped me to stay resilient, build a strong career, and be kind to myself during those difficult times. I'll share a valuable tip that is easy to put into practice and is a real self-esteem booster.

Ask yourself the right questions

I've experienced the shock of being laid off twice and in foreign countries – in Singapore during the dot-com bubble and in 2021 in Germany. Talk about anxiety! Visa worries, navigating a different job market, being pregnant and miles away from loved ones to support and advise added to the daunting challenges. It was a perfect storm of stress.

But here's the thing about being strong and cool-headed: you don't see setbacks; you see opportunities. These layoffs became a chance to pause, analyse, and identify how to leverage my skills and strategies for a successful launch into the next exciting phase of my career.

Like in business, I followed a process that took me from Acceptance to Exploration, Initiation, Planning, then to Execution, Closure, and Success. I started by asking myself the right questions to identify the field of action.

Am I sad because I lost my job (and someone made that decision on my behalf) or am I feeling something else?

Getting laid off can feel like a punch in the gut. It can be a mix of emotions. Misunderstanding, consternation, rejection, anxiety, anger, discouragement, exhaustion, you name it…maybe even relief. Instead of shoving those feelings under the rug, let's acknowledge them. Those emotions are normal in those circumstances, and it's important to allow yourself to feel them without trying to suppress or control them.

Feeling all the feelings – the good, the bad, and the downright ugly – is a sign of acceptance, respect for yourself, and eventually strength, not weakness. It takes guts to face everything head-on, without judgment. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend going through a tough time. This isn't about feeling sorry for yourself, it's about accepting that how you feel is totally valid.

You don't have to have all the answers right now, and that's okay. By showing yourself compassion, you're setting yourself up to heal, recover, and grow. So, as you navigate this time of self-discovery, remember: your feelings are there to help you, not hold you back.

What do I do now that I don’t have a job?

DO NOT PANIC. Losing a job can be scary but freaking out won't help. Take a deep breath and focus on what you can control: planning for the future. Easier said than done? Well, keep reading.

Is losing a job a failure?

Losing a job is definitely not a failure. It's a common experience in today's workforce, and it doesn't reflect on your abilities or worth. Jobs come and go! The economy fluctuates, companies restructure, and sometimes positions are eliminated. It's simply a part of professional life, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Many successful people have experienced job losses throughout their careers.

This situation can be a chance to re-evaluate your career goals. Consider if the job you lost truly aligned with your interests, ambitions, and values. Maybe there's a different path out there that's a better fit. You might use this time to gain new skills through courses or certifications, making yourself even more competitive in the job market. If you have not had the time or opportunity to do it in parallel to your work, then it’s definitely the time. It can be a blessing in disguise, but only if you take the right measures and focus on your determination.

How can I stay on track?

Once I have identified my feelings and accepted the facts, I move on to planning:

I develop a job search roadmap with specific goals (types of jobs) and milestones (contacts in my network I can reach out to, applications submitted, answers and feedback received, interviews scheduled).

I identify potential roadblocks (e.g., gaps in my skillset, a competitive job market, a different location) and take relevant action, such as training for new tools.

And I keep breathing! This is a marathon, not a sprint, so patience and tactics are key. There will be ups and downs, but I'll reach the finish line.

And here’s my tip: build your own confidence book, or what is called by my coach the "Book of strokes". Fill it with praise you've gotten - that killer project review, a happy client email, thank you messages from colleagues and boss, anything that shows how good you are at what you do! It's a reminder of your skills and achievements, progress and contribution, available at hand to provide reassurance. Plus, when job hunting gets tough, this book becomes your secret weapon. Flipping through past wins keeps your confidence high and shows you're ready to conquer new challenges.

Speaking of tactics, my next question will shed light on the most effective aspect of a job search, but not necessarily the easiest to implement.

Do I need help?

We all do at some point, but asking for help can be tough. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what kind of help we need, or even how to ask for it.

Don't underestimate the power of networking! The connections (and sometimes friendships) you build can be the key to unlocking good opportunities. Networking might seem intimidating, but it's all about building relationships and exploring shared goals. Strike up conversations with people you admire in your field – they're not just potential connections, they're a wealth of knowledge waiting to be tapped.

Here's how to make it fun: join communities (in your field, in your geography, with similar experience, etc), participate in industry forums, and attend events. You might even offer to volunteer and make yourself known for your skills by writing. There are plenty of platforms that enable you to share your valuable experience: LinkedIn, Medium, Elpha, etc. Approach these interactions with curiosity and an open mind. Every person you meet is a potential stepping stone, offering fresh ideas, valuable advice, and maybe even an introduction to hidden opportunities. Remember, collaboration is key. When you work together with others, you can achieve amazing things. So, get out there!

Don't just dream about it!

While my approach might not be for everyone (after all, we all handle change differently!), I highly recommend using a layoff as a chance for introspection. Take this time to analyze your career path – the good, the bad, and everything in between. Reflect on your biggest successes, the most challenging moments, and what truly motivated you each day to wake up and go to work. Was it the brand, the product, the industry, the specific role, the colleagues, the boss you worked for, the work environment, or something else entirely? Don't be afraid to challenge your next move. Is a similar position truly your best option, should the direction be corrected or is it time for a change?

If a new path beckons, don't just dream about it – test the waters! Research the field, identify the skills you might need to acquire, connect with those in a similar position, and see if there's a path forward that aligns with your newfound aspirations. Remember, a layoff can be a catalyst for unexpected growth. Embrace the opportunity for self-discovery and use it to launch yourself toward a career that truly excites and fulfills you. Life is too short for not enjoying work too!