What's your favorite flavor of self-sabotage?
Mine, for the longest time was over-drinking.
These days, I am done with over-drinking – or drinking, period.
But it took me quite some years to understand where the fun ended and the self-sabotage began, to understand what I was doing: how I kept myself from being my best self, from going big, from building the business and financial security I secretly dreamed of having, from writing every day … Do I need to go on?
When the realization kicks in, there's no way to unthink it.
You can ignore the knowledge that you are self-sabotaging for a while longer, but chances are, it'll catch up with you eventually. So if you want to save yourself some time, I recommend you go straight for the big question:
What have I wanted in my life for a long time – and how am I keeping myself from getting it?
You may want to argue with me now and blame the circumstances. I get it.
But I tell you, there's someone out there who has had similar circumstances and they've actually helped them thrive. This is NOT to say you did anything wrong.
It is to say that it's never down to the circumstances.
If you have wanted to lose weight, save money, advance your career, build a meaningful relationship for a long time – and again and again things start out well and “suddenly” flip, chances are you are self-sabotaging.
Weird as it is, our brains prefer our comfort zone (no matter how uncomfortable it may be) to the unknown.
That's why it makes us freak out if we get any close to actually achieving your desire – losing the weight, saving the money, getting the promotion, having a family with an amazing partner, you name it.
It's too good to be true, and here we go: self-sabotaging.
Self-sabotage comes in many different forms, but there's only one way to stop it: honesty and commitment.
You need to be fully aware of, and honest with yourself about, what you are doing so that you can decide against it and commit to learning a new behavior that serves you and your dreams and desires.
(If you want to chat about where to start with this, let me know!)
And please share in the comments: What's your favorite flavor of self-sabotage?