Hi- between my high pitched, quiet voice and some bad habits, I come across as unprofessional and lacking confidence. I recently started a new job as the result of an acquisition that is entirely remote. In the past, I have been able to overcome my childlike voice as people got to know me and my strengths. However, I feel like with remote work I am unable to overcome this obstacle and am looking for any suggestions you may have. Are there classes? Coaches? I listen to recordings of zoom calls and practice speaking more confidently in a mirror, but that's only getting me so far. Thanks!
Help speaking more confidently?
annamiller·Jan 05, 2022annamiller·Jan 05, 2022Hi there, Thanks for sharing your experience on here. I have not heard you speak so I can't be provide the best advice. There are a number of elements that go into speech that are not only related to pitch and sound, such as saying Sorry a lot or not speaking up when you want to. I suggest exploring what is causing you concern since it may be not the pitch at which you speak but how you are speaking, what you say or do not say. Confidence is not only about voice but comes from a sense of deep trust if yourself. Your voice usually reflects your sense of confidence. I offer short intro calls to support growing your confidence, feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat more.
I'd love to help – lots of this is a matter of mindset, really – and gift you a free 30-minute session: https://micha-goebig-availability.as.me/coachingexperience. If you can't find a time that works for you, just message me and we'll take it from there.I specialize in confidence and visibility for women in tech and male-dominated spheres.
Hi @Delilah123 - another technique to try is to write down your thoughts before speaking. Writing down your thoughts can give you a structure on what to say. Depending on the situation, jot down keywords you want to convey. Once you feel comfortable start networking with people within your company and outside on platforms such as LinkedIn to practice speech and ask for feedback. Adjust accordingly and keep practicing!
Hey! There are some threads about it see below,https://elpha.com/posts/xealgybz/public-speaking-and-voice-projectingIf you are in NYC https://elpha.com/posts/rvz2sacs/public-speaking-courses-in-nycIn case you also want some tips on panels / public speaking appearance https://elpha.com/posts/ipxj881o/public-speaking-tips
The best piece of advice I ever got is to become your favorite celebrity and embody the characteristics you embody about them. I really love Kourtney K, so whenever I am in a big room filled with super important people, I incorporate my inner Kardashian and, over time, start gaining my confidence. I hope this helps.
Some great advice given above, but also try and stand up, it's surprising how much stronger that can make you sound and how much confidence it gives you.
I listened to Michael and Amy Port’s Ted talk on bringing acting techniques to real life moments, and am doing their 2 day course. Something to consider:https://heroicpublicspeaking.com/
Toastmasters clubs are a great, inexpensive way to improve your public speaking in a learning-focused and supportive environment. The real-time, actionable feedback from people listening to your speeches, as well as reinforcing the positives that you already have would likely be helpful, based on what you've described. Consider checking out clubs on toastmasters.org and visiting a couple of these to see if there is a club that is right for you.
What kind of bad habits? Hey, your voice is your voice and that's okay. The way you feel about it is a different story. To that end, are your feelings about your voice *actually* affecting your confidence?If so—what you want to focus on is your state of being.When YOU are calm and confident, your voice will follow. To do this, I highly recommend using your body as a tool. The Amy Cuddy TED Talk on Power Posing is great. You can also use breathwork, e.g. a few short minutes of "breath of fire," to ground yourself before a meeting.You might seek a voice coach who can help you on a technical level to speak more deeply. (Or YouTube it!) But lastly, and most importantly, give yourself some grace. The more you judge yourself as unprofessional, the more you magnify the problem. Short story: I'm a dedicated meditator, and out of the blue one day, I found myself with a need to compulsively, loudly swallow—strictly during group meditations! The thought of disturbing the group with this obnoxious tic was stressful. I would fixate on it until I had to remove myself from sessions entirely.The compulsion finally disappeared, as suddenly as it came, when I started to practice self-compassion. (I used a healing modality to help, but that's an aside).The moral of the story is that the more you accept your voice as it is, the easier it will be to tap into more strength and depth with it. ☺️
Oh and also very indirectly related you might find this interest https://elpha.com/posts/z13t7t5w/how-to-be-an-influential-leader-workshop-free-virtual
hey hey, huh, this is such a big topic :) Here are some thoughts and ideas:1/ CONFIDENCE comes from challenges ourselves and judging that situation as a something that we judged successfully - so work on stepping into new challenges and experiences in terms of public speaking, but even more so, see to work on a story you are telling yourself about that experience - eg focusing on things you did well, focusing on progress, listing down what are you doing well in terms of public speaking and how can you grow that even further... 2/ TO GET BETTER AND FEEL BETTER, practice, practice, practice - try to expose yourself to more of it, but also each time when you do it, choose a certain "goal" for that specific speaking (one aspect of presentation to practice and pay attention to) and also pay attention that you build positive emotions within that experience (positive emotions are consequence of our thoughts, meaning, try to feed your mind during and after the speaking with positive thoughts but choose the ones that are BELIEVABLE to you - eg if you naturally keep thinking "i will mess this up" look to replace it and rephrase it with something like "My audience wants me to succeed" or "This team is on my side" or "I am great at the topic I am talking about", and not something like "I am an amazing speaker" if that's not how you feel) - it is important that you build more experience but also that within that experience you do focused practice of different skills and keep on growing (yes, one at a time) and that you build more positive emotions around that experience - and yes, Toastmasters are great place to practice this :)3/ BREATHE! AND PAY ATTENTION TO POSTURE - the key to feel confident, to speak well and to think well is to have plenty of oxygen - this also means to pay attention of your posture (opening the chest, putting shoulders upright) and to remember to pause and breath during speaking - great exercise is to take two nice deep breaths in the last minute before you join the call, and within these breaths to do an exhale that is a bit longer and slower than the inhale (this is pattern of breathing to relax)- for posture, also check great ted talk by amy cuddy - also exploring working with your voice (which often includes breathing exercise) is a great idea - I can highly recommend a book Full voice for this4/ MAKE AN HONEST ASSESSMENT WHICH SKILLS TO PRIORITIZE - make a list of public speaking skills (if you decide to join Toastmasters, you will get such list there. You can also brainstorm it. Or you can message me 1:1 and I will send you a list that I use when I deliver presentation skills workshops) - and then score yourself on all the different skills on that list. Choose which of these would be the biggest impact if you would work on them, and start to focus on strengthening these first. Beware: it is much better if you do such assessment based on watching recording of your presentation, then from your memory, because we do tend to skew that memory quite a lot ;) Alternatively, it would be even better to ask someone close to you to help you with giving you frank feedback to that list of skills.5/ FOCUS ON CORE MESSAGE & SERVING ON YOUR AUDIENCETo make presentation clear, structured and impactful, one thing that is absolute essential is to have full clarity of what is the main goal of your presentation (eg to inspire, to motivate, to inform, to create common understanding, to persuade, to entertain, to educate etc.) and what is the core message you want to keep in mind (if your audience would leave with just one message, one main point from your presentation, what would that be?). First figure that our for yourself (before planning or designing any of the presentation content), and then think what is the best way to share and underline that message (hint: usually it is a mix of stating the main message very clearly several times and highlighting it with voice/words/body/visual, and making it more memorable through vivid examples and stories) The second thing that can help you a lot with feeling unconfident is to focus not on how will you look like while presenting (that is, how will you perform and how will others judge you), but instead to focus on how is your presentation serving the audience. Focus on benefits that they will get from your presentation, and how can you make it more valuable for them. And while doing that, recognize that they are not there to judge you but instead they are there to hear what you have to say - in other words, they are rooting for you and they actually want you to do it well ;) And, at the end of this long list of ideas, I must say - do choose one things at a time to focus on, and then try to practice often and always put a chosen thing in focus. How to choose which one? Ask, "which small change in my public speaking would have the biggest positive impact on my impact/confidence?" and start with that one.Good luck! Work on public speaking requires perseverance (and often a bit of courage) but it is so so worth it!p.s. if you decide to use one of these tips, I would love to hear which one you decide to use first :)
I am in Toastmasters for the same reason. I am a member of two online clubs. I am happy to invite you to my clubs if that makes you feel more comfortable to attend online with someone? Msg me if interested patriciavanrittendesign @ gmail.com. I was new to learn this skill too - it is scary but worth it!
I really loved this podcast episode on finding a leadership voice: https://hbr.org/podcast/2021/03/finding-my-leadership-voiceI believe that if you own it and love you as you come, that energy will overpower any imperfections you think you may have. Good luck in your journey!
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