wanted to see if anyone here has (after 10+ years of work experience) come to the conlusion that a corporate big tech job isn't for them?
when i started in my role i was in a small team on a recently aquired start-up in a public company. now that team has basically been disolved in favor of a larger vision and "mission". with this, my role has evolved into something that does not map to my career aspirations generally, and unfortunately I feel the big shift happened when I got a new manager and my old manager became my skip-level manager. I often wonder if i'd feel the same if my manager stayed the same...but we never know the counterfactuals in life so...onwards...
while i've continued to "do as is needed" at meet and exceed performance expectations, I can feel that my heart is no longer in it. i've started the job search in earnest this year with some good leads, interviews and glowing feedback on my resume from a number of recruiters which has given me confidence not only in my marketability, but also my job preparation; however, i find myself wondering if a move into a smaller tech company or start-up aligns with my long-term desires for the kind of life i want to live. as i get deeper in the process i'm anxious about picking a job that could lead to the same place..a desire for something else.
generally i can do really well in the corporate work enfironmvent from a performance perspective when i'm engaged, motivated, learning and feel that there is a supportive and psychologically safe environment. i'm a Black woman, and that type of environment is HARD / nearly impossible to find for any prologned period of time.
i often dream of owning my own shop, buying and selling things i love from creators i admire, and spending my time growing veggies in my garden, spending more time with my dog and hiking outdoors. I know that i'm really good at leading people with empathy and care, so managing has come relatively easy for me...but I think I fear the plunge it would take to leave the security of benefits, a steady paycheck and that level of predictability, despite feeling that another 9-5 isn't the long-term dream for me. to add to it, my husband and I are ready to start trying for a child soon, so I worry about jepordizing these "golden benefits" that i've worked so hard to get.
anyway, hoping to get some tips, inspiration or words of encouragement about my path, how i could get moving on developing that dream of owning a small buisness and spending more of my days in nature and outside than behind a screen in the throws of capitalism.
thanks for reading!