How do you overcome job loss trauma so it doesn't affect your new job?

sls2u·Aug 09

Posted in:Advice Favors Health & Wellness

Reflecting on my journey, I can't help but recall the roller coaster of emotions I went through after unexpectedly losing my job. I believe as many of you can relate; I had a myriad of feelings that I was experiencing, such as grief, anxiety, pity, resentment, and loneliness – emotions that were traumatic to my mental state.

Losing my job wasn't just about losing a paycheck (but money was a HUGE factor); it was also about losing a piece of my self-worth, self-identity, and self-confidence in my eyes. The constant cycle of automated rejections (some of those messages were not empathetic at all) and the lack of feedback from job applications further amplified my emotional struggles.

My question to this audience and for folks who have gone through this: how did you navigate stepping into a new role while leaving behind the burdens of past trauma? I want a fresh start in my upcoming role, but a persistent fear lingers in me.

nataliehoop·Aug 10

So, I was very lucky to find a contract role a week after I was let go. I quickly noticed that I was still dealing with job loss and it honestly was connected to a role I was laid off from in 2021. I ended up finding a Job Loss Reboot program which is a group coaching program that works through the trauma after a job loss. I highly recommend it. I don't know when the next one is, but here's the LinkedIn profile for the coach https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicholaswhitaker/.

sls2u·Aug 10

Thank you so much. I will have to do some research on this program. How long did it take for you to decompress and start believing in yourself again once you got into your new role?

nataliehoop·Aug 10

I'm in a contract role, so I can only speak to that. I felt pretty good at the beginning of the role, but then as my work got more complex, all of my trauma came pouring out. The program is 90 days and I started noticing a difference in 60 days. I also have a new boss to report to and honestly, that has made a huge difference as well.

Rafaela131·Aug 10

Hi there! I’m currently going through job hunt but after leaving a job that was harming my health, both physical and mental. If you can afford to, I’d suggest taking a break. I was away from the computer for several weeks and it helped a lot. I’m only now starting the search, and after two weeks I have only gotten automatic rejections. My thinking is: if I got a job before, why wouldn’t I get another one? Also, overestimating the time it can take to find the next role. In my case, I assumed at least 6 months, but it could be more given the state of the economy and layoffs. I had planned for this, so I saved. Take some time and think about the worst case scenario - most probably you won’t get to that, but if you do, you’ll be prepared. Sending positive energy your way

Iynna·Aug 10

I absolutely love your mindset and with it, you can only be successful in your search etc! Plan for the worst, hope for the best and trust yourself/your skills! Let us know how we can help you in your search!!

Rafaela131·Aug 12

Thank you Iynna!

sls2u·Aug 15

Thank you for your support!

sls2u·Aug 15

Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you the best in your search.

Rafaela131·Aug 15

Likewise!

Roxane171·Aug 10

Ongoing therapy using modalities that help resolve traumas and their associated triggers. This way when something hits, the blow is lessened. Building a consistent meditation practice to help with being able to self regulate emotions better.

sls2u·Aug 15

My new employer has a partnership with Betterhelp so I think I will take advantage of that once I am onboarded.

Lawanna127·Aug 11

I've felt like this at times in my early career...my advice would be 1. discuss with peers who are going through similar process and help/support each other. Compare your experiences so you can have an idea of what is a clear pattern of job rejection based on specific things that you can improve, or if the rejections are just a symptom of a tough industry/job market, etc. 2. longterm - through your career try to build a $ nest egg to fall back on, some refer to as "FU money" which is basically a certain amount which allows you to feel financially secure and not as fearful of job loss since you have something to fall back on and won't be in an extremely desperate situation. Getting sufficient savings in place over time really helped me to set a foundation of stability for myself and I am much less fearful of job loss cause I have enough to financially support for some time to find a new job. Also less likely to subject myself to an extremely stressful or toxic work environment and more willing to "shop around" for the right fit since I have that extra $ padding to fall back on.

sls2u·Aug 15

Yes, I agree with having extra savings. I had the scarcity mindset even though I had some savings. The fear of knowing I wouldn't have income coming in really gave me anxiety.

shamsheer·Aug 14

Hey, I can totally relate to this experience. A few years ago, I lost my dream job and it had ripple effects on my self esteem, identity and confidence in next few roles I took. I tried to show up and engage on a level where I could keep some distance between me and my job but that create a new (& maybe interesting) set of challenges where I couldn't give the job what I really wanted to. If felt a little like my purpose and spark was gone. Ultimately, I think what helped was processing what I thought that job loss really meant. You wrote that for you money was a factor but not the most important factor. I would really encourage you to dig through what the job loss ended up meaning for you and how you carry that forward. Maybe if you're able to take a look at that and see what other meaning/explanation is possible you can release what's holding you back and feel more expansive about where you go next. So really integrate your learnings and remove any shame around what the job loss meant. You're gonna find your way through this! And if you're ever interested in chatting more, feel free to reach out! No pressure at all, just thought I'd share my process :) growthwithshamsheer.com

sls2u·Aug 15

Thank you so much!