can-you-be-at-least-fair-to-yourself-13b7bb10b3aa

ritapater·Sep 01, 2023

Posted in:Lifestyle Personal Growth Productivity Career Growth

Dear ladies,

I wrote this article a few months ago and I thought I would share it here with you. Haven't we all heard the words "love yourself" or "put yourself first" plenty of times? I had many conversations with my clients about that, and they usually said: But what does it even mean? How can I start doing that?

"While many of us have an internal dialogue that is harsh and critical, it’s crucial to recognize that this is simply unfair treatment. Instead of jumping straight from self-contempt to self-love, it’s helpful to take small steps towards being more compassionate with ourselves. By starting with fairness and gradually working towards self-acceptance, the journey to self-love becomes more achievable."

If you're searching for a coach for yourself or your organization, I'll be happy to talk about your needs.

best

Rita

Iynna·Sep 02, 2023

Love this! In the last years, I have embraced spending time with myself, I was seeing a therapist and I told her "I go on dates with my thoughts" and I still do it, it's now second nature. I love it and I have come to realise that I am very comfortable with myself because I have reached a level of self-love... honestly best feeling ever!!!!

ritapater·Sep 04, 2023

That's wonderful to read Iynna! This level of connection with ourselves is life-changing. I'm curious how this time with yourself influenced your everyday life <3

Iynna·Sep 04, 2023

Thank you so much to you for starting this convo and for reading! It's something I feel super strongly about because it's hard to get comfortable with ourselves to the point of loving ourselves. To me on the day-to-day is knowing my worth and not taking sh*t from anyone or tolerate anything and everything. So it can go from doing things simple things like saying No and not feeling bad about it, or quickly setting boundaries with others (friends, romantic setup, professional context, etc), or simply putting my needs first. For a while I was trying to find the balance between protecting my peace/worth and being outright selfish (never want to be a selfish person), and I think I found it. It's about prioritising things and the people in my life. For example, as of now, a phone from or to my parents will always take priority over anything! I want to hear about you and your journey!

ritapater·Sep 05, 2023

ohhh! It's so wonderful to read! I'm so happy for you. It's a game changer when we start acknowledging our own voice. When my internal voice feels heard and acknowledged, I know that my inner child is happy. So, in my case, it basically starts with checking with myself on: what I want to do, if I want to do something, what different things make me feel like, how I'd like to spend my time, etc. It might seem very basic, but this helps you build trust with yourself. And when we accomplish that basic level and in a way train our brain to ask ourselves about everything, we start acknowledging we've been feeling uncomfortable where we are, and life starts to throw more serious curveballs, like - do I feel happy where I am (made me move out of my country), what do I like doing (made me get closer to the essence of people and organizations), do I feel supported? (made me change my environment, and people around me), etc.I love helping people go through this process, watching those moments of realization, and supporting them when they start feeling their own potential (which can often be super intimidating to see!) I love this conversation <3 best!

Iynna·Sep 05, 2023

Thank you so much for sharing! These are all big questions that require a deeper look inside. What does feeling supported mean to you? And when do you decide to change environment/cut people off because you think it no longer serves you?

ritapater·Sep 06, 2023

exactly! starting small might seem to be really small indeed, but then, we go to the further questions, and curveballs ;) also: I just shared a great tool someone might like: https://elpha.com/posts/rgqpf0y1/how-to-learn-to-understand-our-emotions-and-what-it-can-change enjoy!

Iynna·Sep 07, 2023

thanks a lot for this