This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

How do you deal with competitive colegues?

Eusebia55·Sep 25, 2023

How do you deal with a senior colegue that should be helping you but want to compety with you everyday and want to be your boss?

melaniecrissey·Sep 26

Address it directly, personally, head on and with a generous spirit of curiosity before it gets out of hand. Schedule a "coffee Zoom" for a heart to heart and tell them what you've observed, "Hey. It seems like we have similar interests and ambitions here. Lately I've noticed you seem to want to lead with authority on [x,y,z] and I'm feeling a lot of competitive energy when we're working together on [this and that]. We both deserve to get the most out of our job roles here. What's your perspective?"It may even take a few conflicts and conversations to get open and build trust, but it's worth addressing.I had a colleague I got pitted against earlier in my career and it was miserable at the time, but now they're one of the people in my field that I respect and admire the most. I'm so glad we did the work to address the issue so we could reconnect on a different level. Dig in and you might even make a friend!It's not uncommon for leaders to pit employees against one another and y'all don't have to play into that mess.

Karisa50·Sep 27

I'm dealing with a similar situation - someone slightly junior to me is overly competitive and constantly stepping all over me/trying to push me aside. My strategy has been to ignore it - easier said than done but I've learned people like this can be extremely malicious and two-faced, so I'm proceeding with caution. Do you think anybody else in your company has noticed this behavior? Our manager has seen this person steal work from me and just generally be competitive, but to my knowledge, has not addressed it. Companies that tolerate toxic behavior because someone is a high performers tend to be toxic work environments, so I'm doing my best to ignore it and looking for a new job.

rachelserwetz·Sep 28

Hi there @Eusebia55, it’s completely normal to get frustrated when dealing with difficult work environments. I suggest doing a calming meditation to help you regain your composure (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW0-KUrd6TA), but if you feel like this is happening daily or frequently, talk with others (peer/mentor/coach/etc) to consider finding a more supportive team/workplace environment. Additionally, i'm linking a quick video with some more guidance – https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ZJVCJ01pXIEPS, I’m Rachel. If you want to discuss further, check my profile to book a call to dive deeper into your goals/challenges.