Where are we with boundaries at work these days?

Brionna·Sep 22, 2022

Posted in:Mental Health Health & Wellness Management and Leadership

I'm curious about how people feel about boundaries at work as of late. I ask because when the misnomer "quiet quitting" started gaining popularity I started to wonder if that meant we were collectively getting better about establishing and holding boundaries at work because scaling back how much you're working seems like it would require better boundaries, but I don't want to make assumptions.

So I'd love to hear how people are managing boundaries in the work place these days. How do you feel about them? Do you have them? And if you do have them, what are your key strategies for actually holding them?

dreamfool·Sep 23, 2022

I think there are different kinds of boundaries. The most important one is to not let work stuff get to me, especially when it is not going the way I would like. Easily say than done, but I walk away from the computer literally when I notice that happening, even just a few minutes.

Avril193·Sep 23, 2022

Totally agree with this as well! I really try hard to compartmentalize to balance work and life. When I sign off, I just try to leave it and not think about work until next actual working hours. Sometimes easier said than done lol! But worth it for peace of mind and not let work stuff cloud your thoughts on off-work hours.

Brionna·Sep 27, 2022

What do you do when work does cloud your off-work hours? Cause like, it happens, right? It happens to all of us and I'm really curious how we are all handling this!

dreamfool·Sep 28, 2022

The best suggestion I have is to diversify your life, make sure you have plenty of other stuff to do or people to hang out with. The more balance you bring, the less your work will intrude other areas of life.

Avril193·Sep 27, 2022

It was hard at first, but I eventually made it a habit to distract myself with other things when I think of work on 'off-work' hours. It got easier eventually, and now I can really distance myself from work stress by distracting myself away from it.

Brionna·Sep 27, 2022

So interesting. When you walk away from the computer, is there anything you do to help you reset or is it enough just to get away from your screen for a few minutes?

dreamfool·Sep 28, 2022

Yes! When I was in the office, I would literally take a walk outside. Now I’m working from home and I like to keep my place clean, so I vacuum. I have a cordless vacuum that I use every other day, and sometimes I would do other type of light cleaning. I also have scrubbed a tub when I got frustrated at work.

Avril193·Sep 23, 2022

Had a crazy workaholic boss before - though they were nice but wow, they would talk about how they couldn’t sleep at night from thinking over some new ideas for work projects….Didn’t want me doing company training on work time (???) - expected me to spend weekends and after work studying and taking training/certifications lol. Thought they were so strange but realized that’s what they did - so much of their time and literal years of their life just obsessing and 100% focused on work and constantly up-skill for work and never talked about their family or life outside work. I realized I NEVER want to become like that - no way. Work/career is only one small part of my life - that’s it. I’m not letting it takeover my every waking hour.

Brionna·Sep 27, 2022

Woof, I definitely had a boss like this and it was really hard. Did you end up leaving that job? Or what boundaries did you have to create so you didn't get sucked into that energy?

Avril193·Sep 27, 2022

I eventually left, to a different team and new office (I used to sit only a cubicle away from the workaholic boss - which was super annoying cause I felt I was always being 'monitored' in a way as to my work ethic and when I come/leave, and they would talk through their work and life problems with me for hours since I was 'right there' - really frustrating).I was much better once I got to a better team. You can set boundaries, but in that situation, it was better that I left.

Bari97·Sep 24, 2022

Definitely struggling with direct report over sharing right now. I understand that they have little outside of work human interaction so I try to be understanding but I really would prefer not to have to deal with their emotional baggage out of the blue. How do I set better expectations as a boss around what is too much and what is acceptable to share in a corporate setting?

Brionna·Sep 27, 2022

This is an interesting twist from the usual situation. Thanks so much for sharing it. Are they sharing a lot about their personal life that you'd frankly rather not know? And if so, are there mental health resources available through your company that you can point them to? Like "wow, that sounds like you are going through a lot, have you looked at x,y,z services to help you sort through it?" As far as boundaries, you could ask them to check to see if you have capacity (time and emotional) for them to share with you before they just start dumping on you. AND in the event that you say yes, you can ask a clarifying question of what they need (to be heard, do they want advice, etc.). That's my take. Hope it helps!