This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

How to handle a toxic classmate

Kristal217·Apr 24, 2023

I am a university student, and there is a girl in my class who has started getting on my nerves.

These are the following reasons for the same:

1. She is very selfish and tries to mold every situation to her own advantage. E.g., she never picks up the phone when you need help but tries every medium to reach you in case she is in trouble.

2. She tells lies and fake stories to hide what she is really up to, but she expects to hear your side with complete honesty.

3. She recently got an amazing internship with the help of a senior during the online assessment process, so she has become the talk of the town, with only a few knowing the truth.

I know I could have avoided her all together and cut all kinds of connections, but it is not possible in the current situation. She is very good with sweet talk and makes connections with almost everyone she meets, so everyone in our class just keeps on talking about her all the time.

This situation is messing with my mental health and reducing my productivity, no matter how much I try to ignore it.

To all the successful and amazing ladies on Elpha who have seen more of the world than me, kindly give me advice from your experience and knowledge to get out of this situation.

Tabetha140·Apr 24, 2023

Just like in any job, you’re going to work with awful people. I’m sure this is super frustrating. The only upside is your class will end, and hopefully any interaction with her. My advice is to just play along and do your best to remain calm. This classmate seems insecure and could be acting out to get a rise out of you. Stay calm and carry on, you got this!

Kristal217·Apr 25, 2023

Thank you

Darcel221·Apr 25, 2023

Unfortunately this is what life looks like. Sometimes, people who scream the loudest (figuratively or literally) are the ones who get what they want even though there are more qualified people. In a sense, it’s marketing. These people usually need to do more talking because they are aware they are lacking in the skills department.For me it’s been helpful to remember that I’m on my own path. What you’ve described is super frustrating though, I’d be annoyed too.

Kristal217·Apr 26, 2023

Thank you for such understanding words.

Celestina118·Apr 25, 2023

I can imagine it must be challenging! Just to understand more, how exactly does her behavior affect you? For example, do you work on the same group project? Did she tell lies about you? if you don't have to socialize, it seems like you should stay away from her. But if you have to work on a group project then maybe there's a way to make it work. Hugs!

Kristal217·Apr 26, 2023

Actually girl to boy ratio in our class is 1:7, and there are times when you need to socialize with your classmates, so I can't avoid her altogether.

Bethanie149·Apr 25, 2023

I've encountered awful people to work with and ultimately what I found helps best for me is to just cut ties. Move on and find the right people you can grow positively around and bring out your best self. Life is too short to waste time and energy on negative vibes.

Kristal217·Apr 26, 2023

Thank you for your kind words, I needed to hear them.