My professional life has generally been a series of jumping from one job or contract to another because I get unbearably bored of the work. When I successfully obtain a new freelance writing project or a marketing role, I experience the initial high of getting a "shiny new toy", due equally to the potential of actually enjoying the job, as well as that external validation of these companies trusting me enough to work with them.
This isn't to say I've hated every job I've had, there have definitely been some very enjoyable moments, moments where I find myself in a state of flow / in the zone, but for the most part, I feel bored and unfulfilled. This all leads to a constant feeling of existential dread. Sometimes it's buried deep under the surface, other times it weighs on me like a ton of bricks.
Since I'm soliciting advice, it would be helpful to know what I DO enjoy in terms of work.
Well, I started a blog about a year ago, the concept being to interview people who are achieving extraordinary feats in their field. I didn't have to force myself to work on it, I would stay up late working on it when I didn't have to, I would think about it in the shower, before bed, when I woke up, whenever. I could brainstorm a list of people I could interview pretty effortlessly. It wasn't easy to run a blog, but it was easy to put time and effort into it because I enjoy it so much. From high-performing athletes, experts in psychedelic medicine, authors, activists, entrepreneurs, entertainers etc. I wanted to talk to everyone, tell their story and learn from them. That to me would be close to a dream job (I don't know what my dream job would be at this point, but I think that's pretty close). I wanted to turn it into a podcast at some point.
The blog is still live but I haven't worked on it in ages because dolla dolla bills y'all. It's a passion project that I wanted to monetize but it's HARD to do that. I feel like I would need to dedicate all my time on it, but I can't because, again I need a paying job to pay bills and save for my future.
Several years ago I did something similar for a digital magazine (volunteer position, I was just starting to build my writing portfolio) and I really enjoyed the job. I had to quit because I can't volunteer forever (and my boss was a total F weirdo).
Another thing I enjoyed, and these were actually paid gigs, was writing a few stories for an online publication that explores a variety of social issues that are affecting Canadians every day. I had to interview people and research the topic. Unfortunately there haven't been any full-time opportunities there, so I had to give that up for the full-time job I have now.
The current company I work for, the mission is one that I can really get behind, I love that their focus is about making a positive impact on the world, but the work itself is boring.
The same thing happened at a tour company I worked at previously. Travel is a passion of mine, and somehow this travel-related company was the most boring job I've ever had! This was due to management, you could only do things a certain way, and the projects just weren't interesting.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
Should I take some time off and really think about what I want in a career? Because I can easily find another job, but that doesn't attack the root cause of the insane dissatisfaction with my career, and even life, because I tie much of my identity and value to my work. If I do that, how do I "structure" that thinking? I feel like I'd need to have a plan of action instead of just aimlessly "thinking about what I want".
I do know that when I'm learning about interesting things and talking to interesting people, that's when I enjoy the work I'm doing. Also repetitive tasks are the death of me.
Any thoughts or feedback would be much appreciated.