Considering moving jobs after only 3 months

Iliana28·Jan 06, 2021·13 replies

Hi Elpha, I currently work at a small start up that is well funded and run by a great team. While I've enjoyed most of my time so far I've come to realize that a start up probably isn't the right place for me long term. I don't usually check my work accounts outside of office hours unless I'm expecting something to come up or there is a project I'm working late on. This means I've missed important discussions that happen spontaneously at 10pm because I'm already in bed or not checking my phone. The team has assured me that it's fine if I don't respond outside of office hours but I still feel guilty and a bit annoyed that I'm not able to fulfill what is supposed to be my role in the company.A recruiter recently reached out to me about a position in the same industry (but a very different product) at a much more established company. If I end up getting the position it would also result in a 15-20k salary bump, something that wouldn't be possible at my current job until we (hopefully) have a second successful round of funding.While the offer isn't guaranteed yet, I'm seriously considering moving jobs. My main issue is that I feel incredibly guilty to be leaving my current company when they're at such a crucial stage of development. I know they'll find someone else but I still feel really bad to be considering leaving after only 3 months. I also don't want to completely alienate the team because they're all people who I really respect as professionals and also as great people in general.Any advice would be appreciated!

dpatel867·Jan 06, 2021·1 reply

Don’t feel guilty! After working for over 10 years, I’ve seen people leave in less. At the end of the day, this is a job and you need to do what’s best for you. I don’t think it would hurt to interview for the other job and see what comes out of it. If you get an offer, then you can weigh your options of staying or leaving. Best of luck on your decision!

anonymous·Jan 06, 2021

I totally agree with you and would like to add that no business has any issues "making you leave"./firing you after 1-2-3 etc months even if you just started with them and maybe took a leap of faith. It's a job. You can be passionate about it, but it's business for both sides of the table.

teresaman·Jan 06, 2021

You're being so thoughtful and they're lucky to have you!My advice to friends who are thinking of quitting but holding off on it because of feeling obligated to fulfill some sort of responsibilities is — it's never a good time to leave. In an employer's eyes, there's always bound to be an inconvenience. Maybe it's a project that you need to wrap up, maybe you hold a lot of the institutional knowledge, whatever it is, it's never going to be the right time for them. Which means, make it the right time for YOU — and help them with the transition to the best of your ability! :)

ChristineF

ChristineFiske·Jan 06, 2021

ChristineF

ChristineFiske·Jan 06, 2021

It sounds like your personal values may not be aligned with your current employers'. When coaching women transitioning on into a new role, this is the #1 thing I recommend - get clear on what your personal values are, including when you want to work (boundaries) and ensure to the best of your ability that the employer you work for has very similar values. Otherwise it's not going to feel good, for either party. If you're feeling misalignment with your current employer and see no grounds for that to shift in a way that is going to make you feel good, it's probably time to transition out. The key thing is that you learn from the experience. Success requires trying things, sometimes things that don't work.

HannahBaldovino·Jan 06, 2021·1 reply

I agree with everyone's sentiments here! Just right off the bat... if you don't take this opportunity, just think how miserable you're going to be staying in your current role! And they wouldn't need a miserable team member. The first 6 months of a role is when you really can figure out if it's right for you and sounds like your current position just isn't the right fit. Go make yourself happy!

Eden159·Jan 07, 2021

Hi @HannahBaldovino - thanks so much for your thoughts. I'm actually in a very similar position myself and was wondering why the first 3-6 months aren't treated as probationary periods for both sides when the contract explicitly mentions that :)For me personally I think the struggle is that at a smaller start-up it feels like there's an inherent assumption you would never consider leaving within at least year, so it feels even more shocking to suggest it before 3 months. Even if as you mentioned (and I agree) staying longer probably does more damage, it's almost psychologically as if you've been accepted into the 'family' and by leaving your 'really hurting the family.'Would you have any thoughts on how to frame the discussion with the existing employer?

vanessaw·Jan 06, 2021·1 reply

A lot of great comments already! Is the late messaging the main thing that is making you question the role? Is there a reason you feel guilt about it even though the team has told you it’s fine? My initial reaction to this post was that between feeling guilty about the late messaging and feeling guilty about leaving, that there is a trend of you potentially putting too much pressure on yourself to do what you think you should be doing. Do what’s best for you! If you prefer being offline after certain hours just let the team know you will not be part of those conversations and be okay. And if you decide you want to leave be okay with that too. In the end, only you can own your wellbeing and happiness!

ChristineF

ChristineFiske·Jan 06, 2021

ChristineF

ChristineFiske·Jan 06, 2021

Really good point, Vanessa, agree it's worth examining the guilt, and having some conversations before making any moves!

ioanahr·Jan 07, 2021

If there isn’t some significant upside to your current job, such as equity... just take the new, more reliable, better paid, better work life balance job.Pay and work life balance are important and you’ve only been with this company 3 months, they did fine without you before and they’ll continue to do fine. Unless you’d be missing out on some major future benefit by leaving, just take the interview and, if offered, the job. And also, use your current role to negotiate even higher pay. No need to go just with the base they are offering, pitch yourself for the most you can.

ashahaji·Jan 07, 2021

Hi there, definitely sounds like it’s worth taking the interview, and congrats on catching the attention of a recruiter at a company that sounds exciting to you. It seems there may have been a mismatch with your expectations coming into your current role and reality. My only piece of advice would be to reflect on how that happened, really take stock of your values, and be very discerning about any future opportunities. It’s always best to feel like you’re running toward a great opportunity rather than away from a bad one. Good luck, you’ve got this!

mickimaynard·Jan 07, 2021

The rule of thumb used to be that you had to stick out a job for a year, or future employers would think you were frivolous. That’s no longer true. We once had someone quit after a week! As soon as you are 100% certain, leave. Thank everyone and be gracious. Your reason can be that you weren’t a right fit for them, but even your short time proved valuable.

KarenMurphy·Jan 07, 2021

Lot's of great advice here, and I am probably oversimplifying, but follow your gut - it sounds like you are ready to move into a new opportunity, don't feel bad about it! You got this!

Billi179·Jan 07, 2021

Hey Anon! I recently did this and I can completely feel your pain. I was extremely worried about how my peers, managers, and the overall company would say/think about me. But an opportunity came up for me that was very hard for me to say no to. And I gave that reason to them, and they actually all understood and was extremely nice and accommodating about it. Maybe they had to because it would be against HR policy otherwise LOL but when i really gave it more thought, i realize that I would have hated myself for not taking the opportunity simply because i was worried about how my current company would react. One advice i would give would be to be honest-ish about it when people ask why you're leaving. If its a better package, better company, and better industry - people will understand immensely because they themselves would very likely do the same thing as you! And as long as you give as much notice as you can (don't leave with less than 2 weeks notice) and try your best to transition out of your role - I think you will be completely fine :) Good luck!