Hi, lovely Elphas, today’s post will be a little more personal, but I wanted to share this because I want you to know that just because someone has an entire coaching toolbox at their disposal doesn’t mean they are given a pass when it comes to overwhelm, anxiety, self-doubt, and all the other unpleasant stuff. Everybody has to deal with that stuff from time to time.
Right now, it’s my turn and that’s why I am spending all my time at home, eating pizza and chocolate, and after writing this post I’ll retire to the couch to binge-watch a few episodes of a French show with a very depressed detective. Compared to that guy I’m basically Miss Sunshine, even at my lowest low. Anyway, so much for self-coaching myself out of this funk—it’s so not happening today.
But as I am committed to finding the positive in everything, I will spare you the whiny details. Instead, let’s look at two other things: Where’s the positive in feeling like sh*t? And what can be done to feel better again soon? (Spoiler alert: It’s not retail therapy.)
Actually, times like these have one huge positive aspect to them—if you see all the sad and frustrated and whatnot as a reminder to check in with yourself to find out what you need more of or less of: maybe more self-compassion and alone-time, less ambition and hustling, or exactly the opposite, more drive and socializing and less hiding from the world.
Whatever it is that gives us the blues, a little navel-gazing and reassessing of priorities is usually in order. It’s a good time for self-care and getting to know oneself a little better. And that’s always a positive thing.
But let me be a little more specific about what to do when your body and/or mind give you clear slow-down signs. This is my plan, and maybe some of it resonates with you:
- Stick to my morning ritual of meditating and journaling because it gives me a good start to the day. Later, things may catch up with me and put me back into the what-if spiral, but I can’t prepare for that any better than with my morning me-time.
- Spend a lot of time outdoors, irrespective of the weather. I have a beautiful new raincoat, so there’s no excuse not to take my dog on a few longer walks here in Seattle in the next couple of days.
- Take a good long look at my to-do list and do some re-prioritizing (aka "triage the to-do list"). Yes, there’s a lot of stuff with deadlines. But other stuff is not—it’s me who has decided to do certain things asap instead of a little later, which is still soon enough. Well, that’ll have to change!
- Write my goals and gratitudes. Looking at these can be a good support tool for prioritizing. Also, do some extra journaling throughout the day to get to the core of what’s the matter right now. If you ask good question and actually listen, the answers may all be right there.
- Talk to someone who can help clarify what’s going on—in other words, my coach (yes, coaches have coaches too) and/or my husband, maybe a friend. Often enough, it’s a single observation or question from someone else that can trigger the unraveling of an entire mental or emotional knot.
- Cut myself some slack. My major issue is that I always think I’m not doing enough while actually working quite a lot. I hunt the phantasy of a day without a to-do list like Sisyphus the day when his stupid rock makes it up the mountain top. It ain’t gonna happen—and I may as well get used to it now.
Last but not least, I’m asking for advice. Any recommendations how you handle these times?
I’d appreciate it if you left me some in the comments.
I’m seriously fed up with my sulky self and more than ready to get out of the funk. And if I can help you get over your blues, let me know!