Bad reflections on current employee?

keralinn·Jan 12, 2024

Posted in:Advice

Hey all,

I just finished my new degree. My dad (who is now retired) without prompting posted on LinkedIn about me and linked my portfolio. One of the people who used to work for him, who now works at a different company, reposted it to her feed as well.

Today she reached out to me and asked if I was interested in a particular type of role. I said yes, and she said she recommended me for it (which is amazing and super flattering!!).

Now, this may be too early to think about, but if it turns out not to be a good fit on my end, but they want me, would it reflect badly on her if I refused?

Thanks for any advice!

rachellevysarfin·Jan 12

Not necessarily. Employees recommend people, and it doesn't always work out. You're entitled to not like the position.

Morgan·Jan 12

That's a big part of why I don't like networking; I don't want to be beholden to some role I don't enjoy just because someone who knows a family or friend recommended me.But at the end of the day, they don't want someone who doesn't want to be there; If it's not a fit, saying no is the best thing you can do.

Iynna·Jan 12

how do you go about finding roles then? Mostly apply and that's it?

Morgan·Jan 13

I mostly contract, so it's people reaching out to me who I probably have never met, and it's either "sure I can do this" or "let's talk about what I can do and see if you go from there," a lot less bureaucracy and waiting and interviewing.

Iynna·Jan 13

Got it! So you don’t do any outbound? I mean that’s amazing that you get inbound and if that works for you then yeah agreed no need to go through the bureaucracy !

Iynna·Jan 12

Congrats on finishing your degree and i love the momentum here. Short of it is no not at all! Employees refer but it doesn't have to work out in the end. If you go through the process (which will not be a short one btw so you will have time to explore other options and see if the role feels right for you) you can tell them that you've really loved meeting them but ultimately you realise this is not exactly the right fit for you and when you get there we can brainstorm the right wording so that you dont burn bridges!If this employee is your main point of contact, you should ideally keep her in the loop first so she doesn't find out your decision from other teammates.

keralinn·Jan 13

Thank you all so much for your advice!! I was pretty sure it would be ok but I really needed to hear it from others. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

KQ·Jan 14

you expressed interest, not commitment. it is always a grand gesture to care for your energy 1st. think of it this way, you are seeking your match. if you commit to something that is not for you, it takes away a match for someone else. it is always in your best interest + of those around you to seek what is in alignment for you. all that being said, I also believe that there's no wrong decision here - your path is what it is for a reason + that, in itself, is perfect.

keralinn·Jan 15

Thank you! Your kind words mean a lot!

MayaPapaya·Jan 15

Women are socialized to feel like we can't dissapoint or hurt the feelings of others and this can leave doing things like staying in jobs that are bad fits or not reaching out for a job option that could be a fit... because we feel like we have to commit early.We're allowed to say no at any part of the process (just like in romantic and sexual experiences too!)What can make it feel easier is how we say no.I've so loved getting to know the culture of the company... you're doing something really special here, but it's helped me realize I want to prioritize x at this point of my career, and what the company really needs is someone who's x."We can be really kind and affirming even when we say no.

rachellevysarfin·Jan 15

That is an amazing answer - thanks for sharing that!