This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

Applications asking for Ms. vs Mrs.

Min204·Dec 15, 2020

Posted in:Vents

On top of everything about applications I'm so incredibly sick of applications asking implicitly if I'm married. As if my resume isn't enough, or a referral isn't enough. I think most people here won't even notice, usually I don't even notice, but today I noticed, and I'm so fed up of the fact that as a woman, it's normal to ask me this personal question that you would never ask a man when applying for a job, or for grad school.

alexcia·Dec 15, 2020

Was that a required question? For me that would be a red flag. If you're not planning on working there then maybe send a email expressing why requiring an answer to this question is not ok.

Shae96·Dec 15, 2020

Geez, I've never seen this on an application!I have always used Ms. as a way of not indicating either way. Miss = unmarried, Mrs. = married, Ms. = no indication.https://www.grammarly.com/blog/ms-mrs-miss-difference/

PetraMillarova·Dec 17, 2020

I also use Ms. everywhere! There should really only be “Ms.”, we’re in the 21st century, why should my marital status matter 🙄

Shae96·Dec 17, 2020

Totally agree! It's the ambiguous equivalent of Mr. and should be the standard.

clarachan43·Dec 15, 2020

Seriously hate this! I think any gender-related questions is extremely strange (except for the purpose of diversity measuring). Why does my gender matter? And why does my marital status matter? So strange.

Iynna·Dec 15, 2020

I think gender matters for statistics studies.For instance if you're applying to grad school, well for them it's pretty importan tto have that breakdown or else how can they answer the question "what's the percentage of women / identified as women that are part of the program" I could say the same about race - why does it matter if I am Black of African Descent, Black-American, Asian, Caucasian?

Iynna·Dec 15, 2020

Are they actually / implicitly asking whether you're married (genuine question)? My understanding and general observation is that some people (sadly in my experience it's mostly been women) can take offense if they are called Mrs when they are really Miss/Ms (ie. connotation that they are "older") I've always found it very interesting to be quite honest so curious to read people's take!

sallyd·Dec 16, 2020

This really hacks me off whenever I see it, in any context as a mandatory question. Occasionally I see an M or Mx option which I use to indicate I don't want to answer. I see it all the time when shopping online - why do you need my marital status to buy from your shop - is it 1950 and you want to check my husband has approved???? Sometimes I pick one at random from the list. I now get a tool catalogue occasionally through the post with the salutation 'Captain' - I must have been having one of those days.I think Title gets included by default in webforms, and I don't think people have made a conscious decision to require it. That also says to me, they don't take data protection seriously. If you do, you question every item of data you collect & hold about an individual, and whether you really need it. If the answer is no, don't collect it.Good to hear I'm not the only one who gets angry about it!

Morgan·Dec 18, 2020

I've honestly never seen that, so it makes me think that's either a very outdated industry / company (think banking) or some cultural nuance thing (Which is also outdated).