Hi ! I'm turning 25 in a few days. What do you wish you known at 25 ?
Hi ! I'm turning 25 in a few days. What do you wish you known at 25 ?
Posted in:AdvicePersonal Growth
Any advice on How I can make the most of it?
teresaman·Jun 23, 2021teresaman·Jun 23, 2021There were some advice here for another member few years ago: https://elpha.com/posts/dl90sfy4/turning-25-and-scaredFor me I wish I'd known how trivial / unimportant some of my worries are at the time!
Max out your 401k or as much as you’re able to afford if maxing out is tough. If your company doesn’t have a 401k (as the startups i worked at didn’t) max our your Roth IRA allowance each year, learn how to invest. Roths are great bc you can pull out the money you put in later sans penalty if you need it for an emergency & many other reasons. Prefer it over regular IRA. Don’t hold too much cash outside of a safety nest, put it somewhere where it can do work for you. I didn’t start doing this until i turned 30 because the companies i worked at didn’t have a 401k and now I majorly wish I had. Happy birthday and hope you enjoy the rest of your 20s!
Fifa·Jun 24, 2021Fifa·Jun 24, 2021Thanks for sharing Teresa !
Focus on you, and being the best v of yourself :-) you'll eventually attract only the best (in all aspects of your life) and learn how to weave through the noise. Personally it has served me well :)Happy early Bday! Cancer baby? :)
Thanks a lot Iynna 🥰 ( yeah Cancer babe )
I wish I had done more travel, taken a variety of courses, meet lots of people and enjoy! As you get older it's harder and the responsibilities kick in.
You're so right! It so so easy to get lost with responsibilities and all. I'll definitely focus on getting more outside and meeting new people ☺️ Thank you Somer
I totally agree on the travel piece. I couldn't afford it at 25 but now with so many responsibilities and debt creeping up I most certainly cannot afford it.
Don't feel like you need to have everything sorted out by now - it's still really young! Invest in yourself - work on being the best version of yourself, network, do courses. 30 is actually awesome - everything comes together.
Hi 👋🏻 What a fab question, hope some of my answer resonates!Things I wish I'd known are:- you have SO much time, nothing needs to rush- the difference between 2 years work experience and 5 years feels like a lot - so don't stress that you don't know everything already!- your job is a huge part of your life, so find the joy in it or find a new one (much easier said than done!)- authenticity is valuable and powerful, but there are certain 'games' you might have to play and that's ok too- plans change. At 25 I had a very different idea of what my life would look like. By 30 I will be shocked if it hasn't changed again!- find your communities! For me it's been childfree women and feminists, and they've been validating and helped me grow- put more money into your pension!- learn to make peace with chores, they never stop- figure out what you can 'streamline' to reduce stress, whether it's having a few set outfits or set meals - it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to do it all!- demand more money. Men do it, don't be afraid to do it yourself (if you have the data to back you up especially)- enjoy your body (bear with me 😅) - you're at peak health and fitness, so enjoy it and take care of it!!Happy birthday 🎂
Well put, I am enjoying this and the whole thread!
Sometimes, I felt like I'm running out of time. The pressure to figure it out before 30 is intense. Thank you so much for your beautiful advice @Saskiahill
Focus on paying down debt and not accumulating it!
This might only apply to me or people who also value freedom above everything else:I always thought working hard for a paycheck was my ticket to freedom. It’s not. At 33 I finally decided to actually find freedom. So I bought land in Maine and built a tiny house on it. Now I’ve actually had freedom for a little while and it has changed everything. I don’t think you can know (with certainty) what you truly love to do until you’re free. Some people maybe had that freedom growing up so they were able to discover their strengths and passions organically. I didn’t. I wasted most of my adult life chasing meaningless 💩. Step 1. Secure freedom. However you have to do it. Even if it means seriously minimizing your needs for a little while. Make a plan to do it now, not like a decade from now. Debt can cloud your judgment and limit your options.Step 2. Read books on finding your passion like The Element, try that Ikigai thing, ask your parents what they always thought you were going to be when you grew up… be childlike again in exploring the world. From there, you can do anything you want.
So much truth in this! So, so much. Thanks for sharing!
What a beautiful story Lola 🥺 I value freedom more than anything. I deeply believe that doing what we love and get to cherish each day as the last one. You story is inspiring, thanks for sharing ♥️
something that i try to tell myself and remind myself (btw i am only 26 :D) is "what if you believed you were enough?" - this helps me stay true to my personal values and helps me make decisions.also, highly recommend sitting down once in a while and really articulating your core values (who you are/who you want to be, the why and how you do everything you do)
I love that you asked this question because when I was about to turn 25 I had my quarter life crisis... (yes apparently that's a thing!!) I was freaking out that I had not yet accomplished anything in my life except graduate college, secure a job with a decent salary and lease an overprice German car to create the facade that "I had made it." I wish I had not continued to lease Germans cars all the way into my 40's because all those car payments could have paid for easily two homes that would have been halfway paid off by now. I wish I would have done the math on how much that fancy car lifestyle was costing me every year (such a waste of money). I would have not stressed out about needing to get married before 30 and thinking if I just had a life partner my life would be complete. I now know only I can make myself feel complete because happiness comes from within not externally. I would not be so fixated on my looks. However, I did get a nose job and a breast augmentation in my 30's which did help my self confidence. Yes, it's important to be healthy and feel attractive but I now feel the real sexy (for me) is feeling confident and being happy with myself. If feel like having a rice crispy treat I eat it and not worry about fitting into the mold that society says we have to look like. Real people get hungry, and trust me giving up carbs and sugar makes for a cranky person (IMHO).I would have gone to grad school, I thought about it but never did it. I would find a large employer to work for who could pay for it so I wouldn't accumulate all that school debt. In short, turning 25 is wonderful... turning 30 is even better and turning 40 (like I did last year) really makes you appreciate all the years it took be the person you are today (a rockstar!!). My advice, never doubt yourself you are amazing. There is so much in this world to experience enjoy! Be wise and learn when sometimes the experience is always as favorable and/or is draining your positive energy. Always trust your gut and be true to yourself and I think your journey will a noteworthy one!!
1. Don't play the comparison game. Your life is your own and will happen on its own timeline i.e. marriage, children, houses, etc. 2. You will be tempted to settle. Don't. 3. Create a vision board of what you want to accomplish and how you want to feel. Then, take steps towards those goals. 4. Money is important. Get your debt under control and begin investing. 5. Learn where your boundaries are porous and make them stronger. 6. Allow people to leave your life. 7. Cherish the people that are with you for the entire book, not just a chapter.8. Heal your relationship with your inner child. 9. Solitude is your biggest ally, but you'll have to earn it. 10. Self-awareness is the most important thing you can cultivate.
1. Move with grace. I used to get really upset when when things at work or personally didn’t go well (which by the way was fairly constant). The next something time something bad happened it’s more like okay how do I adjust (or one of my favorites is to shout out “plot twist”). The more you can think of life as skiing e.g. making a small adjustment and turning when there is a tree in your path rather than stopping and being upset the better off you will be. Just keep swimming really means keep swimming, but letting go of the weight of emotion as much as possible, makes that swim a lot easier.2. Don’t settle. No point in staying with a team that sucks or guys that suck. Keep searching until you find people that lift you up and build a home there. The time investment of finding those people will pay off. This unwritten rule of staying on a team for two years that a lot of people adhere to isn’t a real rule. 3. Find a way to move - you only have one body. Personally, I hate the being at the gym but I love sports !! And dance! And tennis! And skiing! Find what makes you happy and works for you and ignore everyone else’s crap. Being your best kick ass self is important but don’t let it take up space in your head and don’t get dragged down all the diet crap/advice. Focus on living your life!!!4. Invest in a good apartment. A good mental state allows you to have a safe space after a long day. Pay the extra money knowing you’re investing in yourself and forget the cliche of sharing a bathroom or living with roomates just to save (which will be given back to you way more over time). It’s easier to make good decisions when you have a peaceful, happy place. 5.Find people who lift you up. If you’re family sucks, limit your time with them. If you’re friend is being a pain in the ass, let them go. Similar to above. 6. Travel! Explore! Try good food! Research and find cool places — experiences last forever. 7. Invest in skills. Make sure you have real skills. If your company lays everyone off tomorrow do you have the skills where they would say dang, we need this person for their skills. (Also don’t forget you can combine technical skills with more qualitative skills — engineering has many many disciplines).8. Graduate debt is painful. There are many many options that allow part time work , abroad options that are cheaper with excellent names and new colleagues. If you do go to an expensive program make sure it’s worth it in return eg private equity or you feel confident you can get into a top tier law firm etc. Life is short. Buy the pair of shoes.Dance.Travel.Don’t play life on hard mode. Find the path of least resistance.Find what you love but also what pays well and what you have mastered.
Don’t take work too seriously. Be as zen or as chill as possible. When others are freaking out at you or something isn’t going right be the person that says no worries we ll figure it out (then do so). If someone is being a jerk, let it go (though don’t be a door mat). Being forgiving and kind can help make inroads and help make less tolerable colleagues more tolerable. Take on strategic work. Find a problem, go toyour management team and say this is how I want to solve it and do it. Strategic projects are still the ones that move the needle. Don’t get bogged down in operations work. Make sure you have multiple senior people in your corner. Promotion is still a people business.
+1 max out the Roth IRA+ Gravitate towards good leaders and bosses who teach you how to set boundaries. Having a good boss is INCREDIBLY important+ Don't be afraid to jump jobs after 2 years esp when entry-level. It's the best way to increase your market value and get those 20-30k raises that are impossible at staying in your entry level positions+ Be kind to everyone, especially people at your level or junior to you. These are your peers... don't develop a bad rep at a young age
Don’t be afraid… you have time to try out things. You have time to figure it all out, and it’s ok to fail. It’s not permanent and you will bounce back greater. Remember that ageism and sexism is real, more so for women. So if going back to graduate school is in your plans, start the preparations now. I’m 36 and it’s been really hard trying to get into top MBA programs. They say that I’m not a good fit (loosely translated to I'm too old). Happy Birthday to you!
Time is the biggest advantage you have in investing. $100 invested at 25 can turn into $1000 by 65, the same $100 invested at 45 can turn into $300 by 65 (Both assume 6.1% rate of return after fees). Time is your biggest advantage for setting up your financial future. Choose options in your future - find ways to free up money to invest now. Because most women’s salaries peak around 40, you likely won’t be able to ‘make up’ for it later without really challenging your standard of living.
I hope you had a fantastic birthday! Something I wish I had known at 25 was the power of investing and saving. Emergencies happen and having an FU fund to feel safe gives you a sense of financial independence.
1. Maximize 401K savings. Be sure you work for a company that matches. 2. Complete all education / degrees. This doesn't mean you stop this in your twenties, but the majority of your education. 3. Pursue career opportunities now before the family / kids, etc. 4. Squash fear, feeling less than, imposter syndrome, etc. to the ground. They serve no purpose other than hold you back. 5. Write your daily gratitude in the morning. 6. At the end of the day write how and what you did made a difference in your day or in someone's day (even giving someone a warm welcome counts)7. Every month do an assessment of what you have accomplished keep that list8. Every month update your resume based on your accomplishments9. Keep up with the latest trends in the work force10. Love yourself. Happy belated birthday. You are a very smart to be asking this. Have fun.
An important thing I've learned in my twenties (29!) is reframing decisions as not good or bad but different paths.Leaving a job lead to a different path than staying. Switching cities lead to a different path. Staying in a relationship. Sometimes we stress over whether or not we made the right choice (esp. in our twenties!) but typically they just lead to a different outcome with its own good and bad mix. That mindset helped me make peace with a lot of the choices that feel huge during this time.
Enjoy and embrace where you are in spacetime, you’ll never go back to being this version of you Invest in experiences not things. try not to obsess on material valuesStart with an exercising routine. If you don’t have one now it gets harder laterDon’t assume you have time until 30s, time really does fly. Make mindful choices.With that said “30” is not a deadline. I’m 33 and still figuring things out. Learning is a life long skill.Don’t get stuck with jobs or with people for the wrong reasons. Don’t be afraid to move on if you’ve outgrown them.Saw the seeds of a passive income, it will help you a great deal in 5 years timeBe kind to your self, and always leave room to growHappy birthday! 💜
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