6 reasons we stay stuckFeatured

cynthiachan's profile thumbnail
This one really resonated with me - "We donโ€™t truly believe what we want is achievable for us". For a long time, my limiting beliefs and self doubts held me back from pushing myself and dreaming big. Looking back now, it's because I didn't have people around me to model what was possible and I didn't believe that success was possible for someone like me. This is a hard one but so important to address!
saraanderson's profile thumbnail
I love this reflection, Cynthia! Thanks for sharing. Imposter syndrome is a popular topic for a good reason - it's something that most of us deal with or have dealt with at some point. What have you found to be the most helpful for you in your own journey of overcoming self-doubt?
cynthiachan's profile thumbnail
I haven't yet but trying to! Personally, I'm not sure that I ever will. But doing things that scare me, pushing myself to try new things (and knowing I'll survive and probably even thrive!), surrounding myself with people who believe in me (and are smarter and more successful than me) and building successes on top of each other have all helped. Also read so many books, articles and listened to podcasts about personal growth, mindset, overcoming limiting beliefs, etc. It really is a journey and so many things along the way that make a difference, rather than one thing. One thing my husband always told me is to think "why not me?" This isn't something I've mastered but it's a good way to approach why you shouldn't do something and get over that fear and doubt.
saraanderson's profile thumbnail
Yes, Cynthia! You are so right that it's a journey. I'm sure you have already seen benefits to your personal and professional life, from the work that you've done around this. I'm celebrating your for meeting your edge and continuing to explore this for yourself! One thing that came to mind as I was reading your response is around the stories that we tell ourselves. If you haven't already, it could be interesting to poke around and ask some questions like:1. Why isn't this possible? 2. Why isn't this possible for me?Really letting yourself vent this out through journaling can be really insightful. Sometimes we can surprise ourselves. From there, you can one by one go through the beliefs and question them by asking: "Can I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is true?". Then, (and this part is the key to re-patterning) looking for evidence to the contrary. Example: "This is possible because I know x person is doing it." or "I know I can accomplish x because I did y similar thing last summer."I hope it's okay that I dove in here with these! You seem like someone who enjoys personal growth and I was inspired to share in case you wanted to try on another approach. :)
cynthiachan's profile thumbnail
I love this! Thanks so much for sharing Sara! This is very similar to the things that my husband and I talk about as a way to counter the inner doubts. It reminds me of the exercise around trying to find counter examples of my doubts - if I'm doubting my abilities, I try to find examples why I shouldn't. But I love #2 you included above because it really makes you articulate your doubts and see how they probably don't have any basis in reality. I appreciate you taking the time to dive deep <3.
saraanderson's profile thumbnail
YES! A lot of times we naturally want to skip over that part, but it can be helpful to let the insecurity have a voice before we move into shifting our mindset. It keep us from getting stuck on it by letting it move through and like you said, articulating our fears can help us see how ungrounded they are. I love that you've been doing this kind of inquiry work - so powerful!
abbie's profile thumbnail
I think you make excellent points and if it helps, I coach on this and created an hour-long free webinar to guide people out of being stuck. In it, I also focus on becoming aware of the thoughts that are keeping you stuck (like "I'm stuck"). Here's the link in case any readers want to take an hour to become unstuck. Taking different action is one way to keep moving forward: https://www.abbieschiller.com/unstuck-webinar
saraanderson's profile thumbnail
Thanks for sharing that, Abbie! Mindset work is so powerful and I'm always happy to see other coaches out there supporting clients through their stuckness.
kimtercero's profile thumbnail
My challenge is the visualizing and naming what I want. I can't seem to get there and I've tried all the tools! I'll keep working on it. I apparently have to go deep, deep! Thank you for sharing.
saraanderson's profile thumbnail
Hi Kim! This is such a common theme I run into, especially amongst high-achievers. It can be tough to get in touch with our deeper desires and purpose, when we've trained ourselves to orient toward success. It can mean going a little deeper but sometimes it's as simple as pulling a different lever for insight. Are you up for sharing what you've tried/or what's making you feel stuck? I'm happy to offer insights and resources that might help. Feel free to DM me privately for this. :)