LinkedIn Creep UPDATE***
LinkedIn Creep UPDATE***
katieinfante·Jul 08, 2020·2 replies
***UPDATE***I originally thought of just adding this note to my original post as an update, but I wanted to be sure that the women who originally commented were likely to see it.First, thanks to all of you who responded to that post with empathy, advice, and affirmation. (For those of you who would like to go back and read it, it's the original "LinkedIn Creep," which I posted on July 4th.) Truthfully, there were times when I looked at that one comment in quotation marks in my original post and had to fight the doubt that this was 'such a small thing.' I even asked some of you, who recommended further action beyond the "this isn't appropriate" response, whether it was truly advisable to officially report the incident to LinkedIn; to have a number of you, here and elsewhere, say Yes allowed me to move forward with a greater sense of support, as though I were not performing the action alone. And when I went to report the Message, LinkedIn gave a short list of surprisingly nuanced options: it's spam, it's harassment, it's inappropriate, and a few others; I might have hesitated to select "harassment" because it didn't feel quite that overt and hadn't continued past the one comment; I ultimately selected "it's inappropriate," which felt right.Several of you aptly recommended excluding the phrase "with all due respect" from my response, and trust me, I'm right there with you. No, his response did not deserve respect. No, his title didn't automatically warrant him respect either. But it was particularly important to me that I -- and anyone else -- should be able to look at our interaction and affirm that I had responded with the professionalism and dignifying remarks that he had failed to demonstrate, and which all people should reasonably be able to expect from professional connections on LinkedIn. While I seriously appreciate the strength of more assertive and direct personalities that many of you possess (your comments made me smile; I so understood what you meant and felt protected and defended by you), I think women should respond to such comments however they see fit, so long as it promotes the same message and leaves them feeling confident and proud of their response. The most discouraging aspect of that thread was the number of you who came forward with stories of your own. It wasn't unexpected -- the reason I ended my post asking not only what you -would- do, but "what -have- you done" in response to such interactions in the past. I think everyone who read your posts had the same reaction we all had reading one another's -- disgust, frustration, and a desire to comfort one another. But the most encouraging aspect of that thread has been the number of you who admitted that while, in the past, you've merely blocked the person or removed their connection, you now plan to Report them officially. As a new LinkedIn connection from Elpha made clear, if we simply block or remove the connection, there's no record of their actions. But if I report the man who spoke inappropriately to me, and the next woman he disrespects does as well, and then the next, LinkedIn can then establish a pattern of behavior that will allow them to take action. And that's what we're all craving, at the end of the day -- action, a sense of justice, the correction of a wrong that's been committed far too many times, with too little thought and effort, that nonetheless leaves us feeling shaken, disoriented, and unwelcome in professional spaces. You've encouraged me to speak up more, to Report inappropriate comments or harassment when I experience it, and in that way, we can help the invisible community of women in more ways than we know, just as many of you have done here. I would strongly encourage you to do the same. And if you need support, if you need affirmation, if you need to feel like you have strong women behind you, you know where to find us!