This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

Fake vs Real female friends

Anette10·Mar 08, 2023

Can we repair a HS/college female friendship after arguments? The lack of trust and dishonesty ensues.. should we stop talking and end it?

Floretta4·Mar 08, 2023

More context is needed here :)

Iynna·Mar 09, 2023

I think it depends on the nature of the friendship to start with (how long the friendship had been going for, what degree of friendship it was), the nature of the argument (is it a disagreement on something specific or is it a disagreement that speaks a lot about your respective values eg during BLM protests, a lot of people were vocal about the protests and violence that ensues and who was to be blamed etc it was a very good filter for me to see how people truly felt about people of colour and for me there was no going back), lastly it will depend on either of you’s willingness to repair. Fixing a relationships has to be a two way street where each party is willing to make some sacrifices and give up certain things. Now it varies per person how much to give up. Either way, friendships ebb and flow and all relationships that are meant to be, will be meant to be :)

Rae79·Mar 09, 2023

I often find that these are the easiest friendships to maintain because they are the oldest. Depending on what the argument was about, there might be no need to resolve it. Friends often grow apart as they get older, and even friends who used to be close may end up speaking less and less often once they move to other cities or have children.So on the one hand, there can be value in working through an issue if it's truly resolvable and if you want to remain extremely close with the friend. But on the other hand, if you decide you don't want to stay friends, there isn't really a need to announce to them "We're not friends anymore!" You can just gradually start talking to them and seeing them less and less, and make new friends.Hard to advise without more details though.

Anette10·Mar 26, 2023

Thank you for all your support. Agreed. Great recommendations. ❤️