I've been feeling a bit down lately, a bit depressed, a bit burnt out. In general, I felt like I had no time for anything.

I stumbled upon a TEDx episode, maybe you've heard it too: on "How to stop languishing and start finding flow" with Adam Grant. It hit a sweet spot, as I definitely feel like my "to do" list never seems to end. Even when I cross items off, my list keeps repopulating with more to-dos 😵‍💫

Following Grant's advice, I'm starting to make a list of "To don'ts" - the responsibilities, habits and hobbies that use up my time in ways I don't love. It's harder than I thought! So here's what I've got so far:

  1. Scrolling mindlessly through social media.
  2. Keeping the phone in the bedroom.
  3. Saying yes to please someone when I want to say no.

What are your "To don'ts"?

Don't drunk text that guy you think is cute (haha this was me like 7 years ago thank God I know better)
Hahaha, yes, Iynna! Don't drunk message anyone, full stop 😹
haha it is okay to drunk text friends! :)
I literally just downloaded this episode of the podcast onto my phone and now I’m lying in bed scrolling πŸ˜‚ Time to get up… 1-2-3… Go!
Yes @Larissa88 ! - "the 1.2.3 go" is my favourite way to get to the things I've been putting off, like going for a run 😹
Don't follow anyone on social media or participate in any online communities that don't spark joy or make you feel ... icky. (I really need to delete the Reddit app from my phone ...) Don't make a To Do list for your days OFF. I don't mean your days off from your paid job, I mean if you take time OFF because you're burned out, allow yourself to be OFF. Don't try to schedule things or be "productive at home" when you're supposed to be recharging. Clear your calendar, let go of expectations, and just ... relax and try to do as little as possible if that's what you need.
Thanks for sharing, @maggiewolff! I think you've hit the nail on the head. I always do the to-do lists for my days off.So I'm adding it to my to-don't list. Doing nothing and just letting your body & mind rest is so important, yet I always feel guilty when I do that. Any tips on overcoming that feeling?
I think it's just a matter of giving yourself the same kindness you would offer to a friend. If your friend told you "I took the day off and didn't do anything on my To Do list and just rested/relaxed instead", what would you say to your friend? Also, I don't have children so I realize my situation might be different from others, but if I don't tackle a To Do list, no one else suffers.
So well put @maggiewolff. I will remember that for the upcoming weekend ;)
Comparing myself to others. I constantly remind myself that everyone has a unique journey.
100% adding to my list too!
- don’t fall into the negative self talk trap! - don’t spend more than 30mins on my phone if it’s not necessary - don’t get lazy and stop oil pulling every morning again!!
These are awesome! Thanks for sharing Victoria πŸ’ͺ
This is not a hard and fast "to don't" item, but I read a blog post a few months ago and the concept from it CHANGED MY LIFE. I'll link to the post so you can read about it and maybe it'll change your life too. Learning this concept helped me see how stagnated I let myself get at my last job, and realized that if I didn't change something, I would be trapped into my "being helpful" and "catching everything before it falls through the cracks" self-imposed role, and I would never be able to kick ass at my actual job and get promoted. (btw I'm in marketing, not engineering, but this concept is still very very relatable.) Ok, here's the "to don't":Don't do a bunch of "glue work" just because no one else will do it (even though I like it), unless that's how my performance is being evaluated.And here's the post with the explanation (there's also a video version of the blog post in the sidebar) πŸ‘‰
I am listening to the book "Burnout" on audible. If you are feeling burnt out (as I have been) I definately recommend it. They talk about "human giver syndrome" (ie what society expects of women) and why it has led us to this problem and how to escape from it.