This is an anonymous post from an Elpha member.

What should I work on to grow as a software engineer?

Posted in:Advice Productivity Tech Career Growth

I somehow feel stuck in my current job. It is one of these tech salary second tier tech company's new grad software engineer role. they gave us flexibility so I got lucky to have choices among the team.

I ended up picking a team with 2 female engineers already. However I sometimes made small careless mistakes due to my ADHD. So one senior guy started being mean to me. He micromanage people even tho he is not an official manager only a senior member. I didn't even realized it until became uncomfortable enough to cry and my other female teammates proactively approached me and provided me with comfort.

now the problem is, I picked this team because most people are nice. And they are(except that one senior guy I mentioned) But I am just not sure exactly what I can do to grow my career when I am already suffering endless mental battles in my

head because I felt not confident because of my ADHD. Also because I didn't have a bachelor degree in cs only after master school.

so I know some people spend their own time to polish their skills in software engineering. But I am not sure where to start among so many options out there. I also feel like all we did during the work was some boring stuff that doesn't even need any of those fancy things... am I wrong?

rachelserwetz·Nov 14

Hi Danna,Thank you for sharing your story—it sounds like you’re in a challenging spot but also have a lot of potential to grow. It’s completely normal to feel a bit lost early on, especially with the added challenges of ADHD and navigating difficult team dynamics. Here are some ways to keep building your skills and confidence:Identify Core Technical Skills to Strengthen: Start by mastering core software engineering concepts that are highly transferable, like algorithms, data structures, and debugging practices. You can also explore foundational systems and concepts like version control (Git), databases, and cloud basics.Set Small, Achievable Learning Goals: Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, set clear, manageable goals each week. For example, focus on improving a single skill like code review practices or testing. With ADHD, breaking things down into smaller steps can make a big difference and keep you motivated.Gain Confidence Through Projects: Work on small side projects or contribute to open-source if you can. Projects give you the chance to practice new skills and build a portfolio outside of your current team’s work. They don’t have to be fancy—focus on projects that interest you and challenge you just a bit.Build a Supportive Network: It’s great to hear your teammates are supportive! Keep connecting with them, and consider finding a mentor—someone outside your team can offer guidance on your career growth without the same workplace dynamics.Work on Self-Confidence and Self-Care: Growing as a software engineer also means managing self-doubt. Keep celebrating small wins, stay mindful of your progress, and take breaks to recharge. Working with a coach or therapist familiar with ADHD might also help you find strategies that work best for you.If you’d like to chat about building a growth plan that suits your strengths, I’d be happy to help. Feel free to schedule a call at bit.ly/Call_Form. Remember, you’re already making progress by seeking growth—hang in there, Danna!

lindsaymartinez·Nov 18

Hi Danna! This is a tricky spot for sure. I've also worked under a micromanager and it's brutal. I feel for you!Here's what I would do:- Protect your peace! Make sure to do something daily that brings you joy - go for a walk, read a book, chat with a friend, etc. Mental health comes first and usually by way of boundaries and self-care.- Research other skills needed in the jobs that are ahead of you (think: the job you would be promoted too and roles currently posted that would be the next step in your career)- Learn or hone those skills- Start exploring your options! Nothing has to be forever and it's not meant to be.Happy to have a coffee chat about this! :)

LilyMGoh·Nov 22

First of all, remember that the senior engineer's mistreatment of you is a reflection of his internal state, not a reflection of your worth. I hear you. With my decade-long experience in the software engineering field, I understand how toxic it can be, ranging from everyday microaggressions to severe issues like sexual harassment. I've lived through it all. While it's not right, it's, unfortunately, the reality we face right now. You need to focus on what you can control and less on what you cannot. Being a woman is challenging; being a woman in the software engineering field is even more challenging. Stay grounded and know that you are doing the right thing for the world. Technology is the future, and you are a force in creating a more balanced world by representing women in this field. It takes immense courage to stand up against misogynistic treatment, and I'm proud of you for holding your ground.I was an engineering manager for many years, leading teams through ups and downs, and now I'm pivoting to focus more on coaching and mentoring. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk or think I can help. I would love to see more women thrive in tech. Regardless, I wish you the best and send you love and strength to get through this.